Thursday, October 31, 2013


In 1986 Stacey Q released one of the most infectious and recognizable hits of the 80s, Two of Hearts. The song is bright, bouncy and soooooo much fun. Two of Hearts rose to #3 on the Billboard Hot 100 and was also a success in Australia where it reached #7 on the ARIA chart, #2 in Canada and #1 on the US Hot Dance Music/Maxi Singles Chart. This song was so popular that Stacey even landed a role on The Facts of Life playing Cinnamon, a singer Tootie was competing with to get a part in a Broadway show. (Because obviously if you wanted to be on Broadway you would sing a breathy pop song...duh!) Watch that totally believable situation HERE. Anyway, I am STILL to this very day obsessed with this song and when it comes on my iPhone I always have to play it again at least once, and by once I mean thrice!! While Stacey Q had a couple of other hits (We Connect [#35] and Don't Make a Fool of Yourself [#66]) she never quite connected to the broad audience she reached with Two of Hearts. Doesn't matter. People still love this song today. I personally loved Stacey Q's album Better Than Heaven and listened to it until it fell apart. The girl's got spunk! In 2010 Stacey Q embraced her Facts of Life past and released a pretty good album of dance music called Color Me Cinnamon. See what she did there? Anyway, here are some of my favorite Stacey Q songs for you to set your eyeholes on for a few minutes. They're super catchy and you'll love them. The last video is a pretty awesome live performance of their song Insecurity from the Joan Rivers Show. Howie Mandel was guest hosing. HAHAHAHA!! 80s. Watch and wiggle.


HAPPY HALLOWEEN, WITCHES!! Hope you are having a frightfully good day! See what I did there? To help you get your scary on today I have compiled a few videos that will make you shake your pumpkin-butt. I don't know about you mo'fo's, but my ass is getting too old for Halloween. Especially on a THURSDAY?!! Really? Thursday? Come on. How can you have a party, get wasted, lose your entire costume and wake up on a strange couch when you have to go to work the next day? I mean, THAT'S Halloween. Am I right, ladies? Anyhoozers.......First up is the scariest bitch in the land, Sharon Needles, with her new Halloween classic, Call Me ON the Ouija Board. I dare you not to scare up a shimmy for this one.

Now Natalia Kills -- well -- kills it with Zombie. This is scary sexy, y'all!!!!

Since I love all you little ghouls and goblins out there so much, here is my fave "scary" song by Leslie Hall ft. Elvira, Zombie Killers Revisited. There are no words to describe how happy this song and video make me. Pure camp-tastic fun. Watch and learn how to kill zombies. By the way, the lyrics left out of the chorus after "shoot them in the brains if you want to live. Shoot them in the brains..." is "even the little kids". Ha. Twisted!!! Watch. Trick or treat!


Wednesday, October 30, 2013


I mean, has there ever been a sexier male pop star than Sting? Arguably yes.......but no. He can STILL get it and he's 62! SEE!! Anyhoozers, back in 1987 Sting was killing it on the Hot 100 and Be Still My Beating Heart was his sixth solo top 40 song and the second sexy single, after We'll Be Together, from his second solo multi-platinum album ....Nothing Like The Sun. (yes, the dots were part of the title. I'm not being dramaculous) The song is sexy and sensual and Sting's face is begging to be kissed (and possibly knelt over) in this video. Those lips!!! Those eyes!!! That voice!!! It's hard to beat Sting. So today, light a candle, grab a bottle glass of chardonnay, sit in the tub and listen to the smooth sounds of Sting's Be Still My Beating Heart. Or don't. Who am I, the police?

Tuesday, October 29, 2013


Another day, another Lady Gaga tease. Here is a little (actually over a 2-minute) taste of Mary Jane Holland from the upcoming album ARTPOP. "I think we'd have a good time if you'd meet me, Mary Jane, in Holland tonight." Gee, what do you think it's about? Ha. This is a club track, but if you are this stoned how can you possibly dance to it? I know I couldn't. Anyhoo, another track that makes me pretty confident that this album is going to be freaking awesome!!! Take a listen below and get ARTPOP on November 11th.


....Hot Child In The City by Nick Gilder. While some of you only know this song from the episode of Sex and the City where Carrie sleeps with the comic book guy, this song was actually a hit in the fall of 1978 and is about the wholesome subject of underage prostitution. It seems to be in favor. I remember hearing this song on an old K-Tel tape from the 70s (that time's version of Now That's Music) and I had no idea what it was about.....and I thought it was a woman singing. Well, I was wrong. It was an extremely skinny Canadian man. The song rocks and I think you should listen to it and feel all Studio-54ish. Go.

Monday, October 28, 2013


Here is the third full track released from Lady Gaga's upcoming album ARTPOP, Venus. You can get the track and pre-order the album HERE. Also, she has released more artwork (like the one included here) for the single. There is another, much more disturbing one HERE. Anyhoo, Venus is a high energy, campy dance track and I quite like it. How campy, one might ask? Well here is a sample lyric, "Uranus. DON'T YOU KNOW MY ASS IS FAMOUS?" Gold. Based on the material already released from the album, I am really excited about ARTPOP and can't wait for it's November 11th release. Listen.

Sunday, October 27, 2013


Well, October 27, 1985 was quite a week in pop music for little ol' me. Living legends of pop music Scritti Politti and Arcadia debut on my top 30. I mean, they are a veritable Who's That of the 80s, right? Ha. But seriously folks, I'm here all week. Arcadia is actually a side project for three members of Duran Duran (Simon Le Bon, Nick Rhodes and Roger Taylor) who made the record while DD was on a break.  My Madonna-before-Madonna, Olivia Newton John, was creeping her way onto the pop music charts for the last time with the under-appreciated Soul Kiss. Love that song and she is like 300 months pregnant in the video. Nice granny panties, girl. Aretha Franklin jumps up the chart 8 spots with Who's Zooming Who. That is the only time I have ever heard the words "jumps" and "Aretha Franklin" in the same sentence. Try to picture THAT! There are some great 80s throwbacks showing up though. Classic rockers ZZ Top pops on at #18. Tina Turner was gunning for the top 10 with her mostly-forgotten (unfortunately) track One of the Living. This was also from Tina's movie Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome and the follow up to her #2 song We Don't Need Another Hero (Thunderdome). ROCK ON, TINA! Former Eagle Glenn Frey was riding high with one of two songs from the Miami Vice Sountrack, and we have a brand new #1 song from a seminal 80s New Wave band. Needless to say, my little world was all aflutter. Hunker down and enjoy the links posted below, peeps.

30. Pop Life - Prince & The Revolution
29. Perfect Way - Scritti Politti
28. Election Day - Arcadia
27. Soul Kiss - Olivia Newton John
26. Oh Sheila - Ready for the World
25. Lover Come Back To Me - Dead or Alive
24. And We Danced - The Hooters
23. Boy In the Box - Corey Hart
22. There Must Be An Angel (Playing with My Heart) - Eurythmics
21. Part All the Time - Eddie Murphy
20. Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves - Eurythmics and Aretha Franklin
19. Screams of Passion - The Family
18. Sleeping Bag - ZZ Top
17. A Love Bizarre - Sheila E. and Prince
16. America - Prince & The Revolution
15. Who's Zoomin' Who - Aretha Franklin
14. One of the Living - Tina Turner
13. Separate Lives - Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin
12. Oak Tree - Morris Day
11. Love Theme from St. Elmo's Fire - David Foster
10. Broken Wings - Mr. Mister
09. Sister Fate - Sheila E.
08. You Belong to the City - Glenn Frey
07. Be Near Me - ABC
06. Miami Vice Theme - Jan Hammer
05. Never - Heart
04. Saving All My Love For You - Whitney Houston
03. We Built This City - Starship
02. Head Over Heals - Tears for Fears
01. Lay Your Hands On Me - Thompson Twins

Friday, October 25, 2013




Lady Gaga has released yet another snippet from her upcoming album ARTPOP, this time in the form of Venus. The track is a thumping dance number that was originally slated to be the official second single from ARTPOP, but was replaced by Do What U Want (ft. R. Kelly), but Lady Gaga assures her fans, via twitter, that Venus will be released as scheduled on November 28th and will "STILL have its own video". The lyrics in the 40 second clip reveal a lot about Gaga's recent costume choices, "Aphrodite lady, seashell bikini, garden panty. Venus". So there's that. Gaga plans a series of different cover art for the song shot by Steven Klein. All right, listen to Venus and dowload it on Monday. ARTPOP, again, is out November 11th.


Sinead O'Connor recently ripped Miley Cyrus a new a-hole with a series of open letters for Miley comparing her Wrecking Ball video to Sinead's Nothing Compares 2 U vid. I see where Miley is coming from with the longing close ups and whatnot, so Sinead should probably just calm the F down. Right? It did, however, get me thinking about other videos that feature just someone's mug looking into the camera. Seems like a pretty cheap way to make a video, but I guess it can be pretty effective too. The Lorde video for Tennis Court and Bjork's Hunter are especially good, IMO. Here are some that popped into my mind right away, along with Sinead and Miley. If you can think of anymore, by all mean list them below for others to look up.


Madonna has many, many classic songs, but high -- WAY high on that list would sit a little song I like to call (because it's the name of the song) Into the Groove. Jebus lawd, this song is amazy!!! What most people DON'T realize is that it was never actually released as a single in the U.S. It was merely a B-side to Madonna's song Angel which was the third single from her Like a Virgin album. Her record company released it as a B-side so it wouldn't compete with the songs on her LAV album, but also to promote her film debut in Desperately Seeking Susan. The song did get a single release in the UK, reaching #1 in the summer of 1985, and in many other countries around the world. It also reached #1 on the US Dance chart along with Angel. Into The Groove is without a doubt a highlight in not only Madonna's long career, but in the dance music genre in general, changing the beat and sound of the 80s. The music video is made up of clips from Madonna's first starring role in Desperately Seeking Susan, and shows THE early image of Madge's early career that made her a phenomenon. Madonna still performs it in concert, most notably on her Sticky & Sweet Tour where she sang it while doing double-dutch. She's over 50, people!! Deal with it. Anyway, here is the classic song Into the Groove. Love love love it!

Thursday, October 24, 2013


80s icon, Culture Club frontman and ladies' man Boy George has released an entire new album, and you can listen to the whole damn thing on YouTube, of all places!! This Is What I Do is Boy's 9th solo studio effort and his first of completely new material in 18 years! Go, Boy! The track listing is on the videoS, so I won't bore you with that, but take a listen to the album below. Just click the first video and the rest play automatically. I haven't heard the whole thing yet, just sampled it a bit and it sounds pretty soulful and groovy. Boy George is also looking FANTASTIC, having dropped a considerable amount of weight recently. Anyhoo, take a listen below. According to UK paper The Telegraph, This Is What I Do is officially out October 28th and Boy is currently on tour to support the album.


Do you think she'll sing this with Miss Piggy on her holiday special? Fingers (or hooves) crossed!!! Ahead if it's November 11th release, Lady Gaga is releasing a few tracks for fans from her next opus, ARTPOP. That doesn't seem good enough for sneaky snakes because someone has gotten hold of another track and leaked it for her. Here is Swine.  A full-on EDM track, Swine has the usual hard-hitting verse and a sweet bridge, which nobody does better than Gaga. I don't know if this a planned single, but I doubt it. It's a quirky song, more in the vein of Schei├če or Government Hooker from Born This Way. Not to say those songs didn't make me quiver with gayness excitement, but they weren't exactly radio fodder. So anyway, here is Swine from Gaga's upcoming ARTPOP, out November 11th. Enjoy, whether she likes it or not. So do you like it or not? Sound off below!

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


I thought I would go with a subtle ode to human sexuality today. Something that just barely grazed sexy and left everything to the imagination. Or not. Kelis' ode to boobs and, well, lactation???, Milkshake, is one of the most titty-licious songs ever. Released from Kelis' third album, Tasty, in 2003, Milkshake took the world by storm and gave us all a new dance craze; shaking our hooters. Now, Kelis and The Neptunes (aka Pharrell and Chad Hugo) the songs producers, said that "milkshake" was a word that just popped inot their minds and was a synonym for mojo or confidence, but C'MON!!! Who the frick are they fooling? Not this guy. NOT. THIS. GUY. Milkshake went to #3 on the US Billboard Hot 100, #1 in my heart and Kelis' biggest hit to date. So pull up your shirt and shake one or both of your bazooms until you make a milkshake. It will hurt, but might be worth it!!

Tuesday, October 22, 2013


I know, I know! I already posted her live iTunes festival performance of the title track from her upcoming album ARTPOP, but this is a 1:28 snippet of the actual, finished product. It's kind of AH-MAH-ZING!!! I cannot wait to have this song. It is everything. So 80s, so dark, so sexy. LOVE. Here is the snippet
and the lyrics you'll hear. ARTPOP is out November 11th, y'all. Pre-order HERE.

Come to me, in all your glamour and cruelty
Just do that thing that you do
And I'll undress you
Give it time, sometimes the simplest move is right
The melody that you choose
Can rescue you
A hybrid can withstand these things
My heart can beat with bricks and strings
My artpop could mean anything
We could, we could belong together (ARTPOP)x3


.....Dreamlover by Mariah Carey. Remember when Mariah Carey could sing. I don't mean that whisper shit she does now, but S-A-N-G, gurl!!!! Well, back in 1993 she was still SANGING like her weave depended on it. Dreamlover was the lead single off of Mariah's third album, Music Box, and it was a monster hit. It reached the summit of the Hot 100 on September 5th and stayed there for 8 weeks. It was Mariah's seventh #1 single in three years. The video is almost shocking to see now. Why? I'm glad you asked. We see pre-crazy, pre-balloonbreast implant, thin, healthy Mariah looking almost......wait for it......wholesome! What? Yes. Mariah, early in her career, did not look like a whorey Whoopi Goldberg on bath salts. But honestly, kids, she looks quite pretty in this video, even I must admit. Dreamlover is a breezy, happy, upbeat track that screams early 90s and is considered one of Mariah's classic songs. The song was the 8th biggest hit of 1993 and the 20th biggest hit of the 90s, according to Billboard. Pretty impressive, Mimi. So enjoy the video below and try not to feel too old if you clearly remember this song.

Monday, October 21, 2013


Okay, the full song is out and you can get it on iTunes right now when you pre-order ARTPOP. Do What U Want (ft. R. Kelly) has arrived, and I have to admit, I'm a little obsessed. This is much more R&B than Gaga is usually serving and I even like R. Kelly on this track. One thing though, in R. Kelly's verse does he say I can be the "cream in your butt"? Ha. I don't think so, but I am curious as to what that lyric actually is. (UPDATE: A friend has informed me it is "green in your blunt". Charming) Anyway, here is Lady Gaga's new song featuring R. Kelly, Do What U Want and the dainty artwork that goes along with the single. Enjoy! ARTPOP is out November 11th. 21 DAYS!!!

Sunday, October 20, 2013


I stopped doing these posts when I took a break from my blog back in February, but fortunately my 1985 self kept right on going with his (my) own personal Top 30 list of songs that made my tiny(er) ass shake. Here we are on October 20, 1985, which was also a Sunday. Prince and his proteges (Morris Day, Sheila E, The Family) are cramming into the top 30 like there's no tomorrow.....and for some of them there kind of wasn't. Tears for Fears and Thompson Twins made a giant leap into the top 5. How 80s is that? Not one but TWO instrumentals, though very different in tone, were wedged in there: the smooth jazzy Theme from St. Elmo's Fire and the hard hitting synths of Miami Vice Theme. And yes, that IS Eddie Murphy at #24. Go figure. Lots of familiar 80s names make the list, Aretha Franklin appears twice, as do Eurythmics, and THE VOICE tops it off. Okay, grab a Tab cola, put on your leg warmers and dive into some of the links I put on the songs below. How cute was Corey Hart, y'all!!?? Enjoy, nerds!!

30. You Are My Lady - Freddie Jackson
29. Lover Come Back To Me - Dead or Alive
28. Pop Life - Prince & The Revolution
27. And We Danced - The Hooters
26. Boy In the Box - Corey Hart
25. Dress You Up - Madonna
24. Party All the Time - Eddie Murphy
23. Who's Zoomin' Who - Aretha Franklin
22. Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves - Eurythmics and Aretha Franklin
21. Screams of Passion - The Family
20. One of the Living - Tina Turner
19. A Love Bizarre - Sheila E. ft. Prince
18. America - Prince & The Revolution
17. Separate Lives - Phil Collins and Marilyn Martin
16. Broken Wings - Mr. Mister
15. Oh Sheila - Ready for the World
14. Oak Tree - Morris Day
13. Love Theme from St. Elmo's Fire - David Foster
12. Sister Fate - Sheila E.
11. There Must Be An Angel (Playing with My Heart) - Eurythmics
10. I Wonder If I Take You Home - Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam with Full Force
09. You Belong to the City - Glenn Frey
08. Never - Heart
07. Be Near Me - ABC
06. Miami Vice Theme - Jan Hammer
05. Lay Your Hands On Me - Thompson Twins
04. I'm Gonna Tear Your Playhouse Down - Paul Young
03. We Built This City - Starship
02. Head Over Heals - Tears for Fears
01. Saving All My Love For You - Whitney Houston

Friday, October 18, 2013


Bringing it old school, musically, Prince's new track Breakfast Can Wait sounds like a throw back to some of his funky, early 90s tracks like Cream or Letitgo. Good stuff!! The video is HOT too. Although Prince himself does not appear in the video (boo!), lead female dancer Danielle Curiel (yay!) does jack his 80s curls and pencil 'stache and lip sync a little for us. The choreography is great and the dancers are working it like it's 1999. See what I did there? You can buy the song at Prince's website and watch some videos and such. Now put on some purple and dance.


All the songs on Katy Perry's new album, Prism, sound like they belong together. Sonically she is nothing if not consistent, yet there is an unevenness in the lyrical quality that keeps me from fully enjoying what is laid out for me here. Overall I like it better on first listen than I did Teenage Dream, which bodes well for Prism since Teenage Dream more than grew on me. I don't think there is an obvious classic like the song Teenage Dream, (although Spiritual might make that status upon repeat listening) but there are lots of possible singles on Prism.  I'll just review the tracks for now and you can judge for yourself. The whole album is currently streaming on soundcloud and you can listen HERE. Okay, read away, y'all.

1. Roar - Katy's first single from Prism. I gotta admit, when this song first came out of was NOT impressed. I was expecting -- because of the marketing leading up to its release -- that we were in for a new sound from Katy and this song could have easily been on Teenage Dream and blended right in as a fifth or sixth single. It's grown on me a little, but I still think it's not one of her best.

2. Legendary Lovers - Now this has a little bit of a different sound for Katy. Some sitars thrown in for a middle eastern feel, Katy sings of a....well...legendary lover. The beat is great and I do enjoy the nod to a different culture. This song does remind me of the music from Sarah Brightman's 2003 album Harem. I know, I had to go there. Couldn't help myself. I could see her doing some sort of awkward Lawrence of Arabia inspired video for this. Just a word of advice from me to you: Stop trying to dance, Katy. You don't have to.

3. Birthday - Sort of the Last Friday Night of this album, Birthday is all about being a flirty, sexy girl. "Make it like your birthday everyday" is the basic theme of this upbeat track. Pretty catchy, but not exactly reinventing the wheel here. It does have a little bit of a disco feel to it, which I, of course, enjoy. Possible single material.

4. Walking on Air - Katy's nod to 90s house music is clunky at best. I just don't buy it. I think that the performance of this song from SNL recently is just stuck in my head and it was awkward with a capital A, y'all. I'm sure it's coloring this review. I guess the 90s just seem to soon for me to already be paying homage to them. Deee-lite already did it and better. I am not into this song. So, no.

5. Unconditionally - Recently announced as the official second single from Prism, Unconditionally is a power ballad, soon to be heard at a wedding near you. Big chorus, soft verses, mushy lyrics. It's got hit written all over it. I think it's her most effective ballad behind Wide Awake so far.

6. Dark Horse (ft. Juicy J) - First of all Juicy J is the grossest name I've ever heard. Now, that out of the way, Dark Horse sound exactly like it's name. A haunting synth refrain opens the song and appears throughout to keep the song bumping along. It's essentially a hip hop ballad with an edge. I can almost always do without a rap verse, so there's that. I just don't think "rap" when I think of Katy Perry. Sorry. I am sure this is going to be a single. Right? I mean, listen to it. One of the standout tracks for sure.

7. This Is How We Do - White girl swag? She talks about making pancakes, playing ping pong and then says, "It's no big deal". I agree, Katy. It's not. There are mentions of Chanel and "straight stylin'" and various accessories and getting one's nails done "all Japanese-y". Is that racist? I can't decide. I'm sure she didn't mean it that way. The feel of the song is great, but the lyrics are pretty cringe worthy. Considering Katy Perry is one of the whitest white whities in pop music, this song is sounds less genuine. I think she thinks it's pretty cool though. By the way, she actually says "bring the beat back" at one point during this song.

8. International Smile - I feel like this is one of my fave song so far on this album, even though it makes no sense at all. It's basically just an ode to a cool girl who travels the world and looks great. I guess sometimes it's good to just love a simple little electro-pop song. Great vocals, smooth groove, positive and sunny. I'll take it, Katy.

9. Ghost - Another ballad. Soft and lovely, Katy is doing a much better job with the slow jams on this record, in my opinion. This song is about when Russell Brand sent a text to her telling her he was divorcing her. OUCH! What a dick, right? Anyway, the song isn't angry. It's introspective and takes a deep look at how Katy dealt with the split. It's a rare moment of subtlety for our Katy.

10. Love Me - Another ballad, but this one has a little more kick to it. This one is sort of a sequel to Ghost in that she has gained back her confidence and is taking back herself. The song is pretty and rolling and Katy's voice fits very well in this genre, it turns out. There is a hint of Wide Awake in this track for sure. "I'm gonna love myself the way I want you to love me."

11. This Moment - The song starts off sounding like a Giorgio Moroder song from the 70s or 80s. Think I Feel Love or Together in Electric Dreams. Dark, bubbling synths move into an uplifting piano chorus. I really like this song. The sound and lyrics really fit together and it doesn't sound like she's trying to hard here. It also delivers on the promise of a different sound for Katy.

12. Double Rainbow - Because I'm perpetually a 12-year-old I will henceforth always call this song "Double Dildo". Anyway, another ballad towards the end of the album, Double Rainbow, co-written by the remarkable Sia, is sonically pleasing and pretty, but just brings to mind that weird ass guy from youtube who freaks out about the double rainbow. Right? If it didn't for you before, it probably does now. I do actually like the song though. Maybe I'll forget about that guy eventually.

13. By the Grace of God - Piano ballad to end the standard edition of Prism. This song is very pretty, uplifting and a power ballad about self-discovery and healing. Seems to elude to Katy's statements prior in the year about considering suicide, this is definitely one of the most personal and, at points, somber songs on the album. Good choice to close the album. Katy's voice sounds great on this track.

14. Spiritual - (Deluxe Edition only) An ethereal trip into a new love, Katy enlisted her sometimes boyfriend John Mayer to co-write this song. It's quite lovely and definitely worth buying the deluxe edition of Prism. A standout and an aural delight, this is probably my favorite so far. If this is a result of what's going on between Katy and John, then keep it going, you crazy kids. Love this song.

15. It Takes Two - (Deluxe Edition only) Mid-tempo realness. Starting off with an electric guitar march, this track is a typical Perry track. I would say that it's good enough, but relegating it to the deluxe only version is probably not because it'll be a single. It never really takes off to its full potential.

16. Choose Your Battles - (Deluxe Edition only) Closing out the deluxe edition of Prism, Choose Your Battles is another effective power ballad, with banging drums and confrontational lyrics. A nice build to climactic ending and also worth a deluxe purchase.


I have always loved a good Madonna ballad (Live to Tell, La Isla Bonita, You Must Love Me, et al). There is nothing like it. Like a Prayer had a couple of amazy ballads that really stand the test of time, but the depth and sorrow that accompanied Oh Father was mesmerizing. A tale about Madge herself, it shed light on the abusive relationship she had been in with her ex-husband Sean Penn, the somewhat strained releationship with her father and the feelings of guilt that come even from being a victim. The song itself, the fourth single from the Like a Prayer album, is one of Madonna's most beautiful, moving and personal ever, unfortunately, it didn't connect with her audience at large and only hit #20 on the billboard Hot 100, becoming Madge's first single since Holiday in 1984 not to go top 10. Boo!! The video is an absolute masterpiece. It never fails to bring a tear to my eye. Semi-autobiographical in theme, we see a young girl in an abusive relationship with her father after her mother's death, and Madonna as the adult version in a bad relationship with her boyfriend. It was directed by now-famed filmmaker David Fincher. So if you are in the mood, watch this heartbreaking video below, then go back and search for a "happy" Madonna Friday song. BUT WATCH THIS ONE NOW!! I COMMAND THEE!! I present to thee Oh Father.

Thursday, October 17, 2013


Lady Gaga, for better or worse, is doing a duet on her new album ARTPOP with infamous (alleged) pedophile and golden shower aficionado R. Kelly called Do What U Want. A 30 second snippet of the track is featured in a new ad for Best Buy and Beat by Dre. The track sounds like it might be pretty good, but I've just never been a big fan of R. Kelly. Being above the age of 14, I'm not really his demographic though. Take a listen below. DWUW has a very mellow, R&B vibe to it that sounds groovy enough. Reminds me a little bit of So Happy I Could Die from The Fame Monster.  From the sound of things, ARTPOP is going to be quite eclectic.


Toni Basil, you may not know, was 37 years old and had been in show business almost 20 years by the time she hit #1 with Mickey in 1982. Did you know that? I didn't think so. Born in 1943, Toni had danced since she was a child growing up in Philadelphia and Las Vegas, but her first adult, professional gig was as assistant choreographer on the dance show Shindig! in 1964. Toni choreographed for countless shows and productions, like The Monkees' 1968 controversial film  Head, and also had pretty big acting roles in 1969's Easy Rider and 1970's Five Easy Pieces. Her choreography also appeared in American Graffiti, The Rose, My Best Friend's Wedding, Legally Blonde, The House Bunny and many, many more films. She's worked with Bette Midler since the 1970s, choreographing all of her stage shows and films and also choreographed Tina Turner Live: 50th Anniversary Concert Tour. She was a member of the dance group The Lockers, which popularized what would become breakdancing and are credited with changing the face of dance, merging street dance with ballet. (I included a live performance below that will blow away all the dance divas of today) Although Toni began recording in 1966 for A&M Records, she had only had cult success. She was a musical guest on the very first season of Saturday Night Live in 1975 due to her sold out show at the Roxy and an appearance on Merv Griffin. Finally in 1980 Toni covered an old song by the UK band Racey that was called Kitty. Toni changed the title character to a male and the song became Mickey. Using her experience as a high school cheerleader, Toni added the "Oh, Mickey, you're so fine" refrain, popped out an amazy video with the Las Vegas High cheerleaders and the rest is Hot 100
 history.The song went to #1 in 1982, almost two years after it was recorded, and is considered an 80s classic and one of, if not THE greatest music videos of the early MTV era. Toni was never able to notch another top 10 hit, but did manage two more Hot 100 hits, Shopping From A to Z (#77) and the amazing Over My Head (#81) and a second album. She is a dance legend and still shows up on So You Think You Can Dance every once in a while. She has an Emmy for choreography, Hip Hop International Living Legend Award, American Choreography Lifetime Achievement Award, and countless other nominations. Mickey was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as one of the most groundbreaking singles of the 1980s and was awarded a platinum certification. So you see, Toni is not just some random one-hit wonder from the 80s. This girl has been working her tail off for over 50 years. Here are three videos to show you what a real showgirl can do. Enjoy Toni Basil.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013


Famed Broadway composer Stephen Sondheim is like the Rambo of musical theatre. All machismo and masculinity. Oh. He's not? Never mind then. BUT here is some exciting news anyway. Sondheim's classic 1970 musical Company will get another revival soon with a big twist; its lead character, the  commitment-phobe Robert, will be gay! A gay character in a musical? NO!! And he's a slut? NO! Broadway is not ready for this. Ha. Perhaps most importantly, the character of Joanne, originally played by the unbeatable Elaine Stritch and who sings one of the most famous songs from the show, Ladies Who Lunch, will flip genders and be played as a gay man by Alan Cumming. Alan Cumming? Gay? ESCANDALO! What is this world coming to if the last bastion of heterosexuality, the musical theatre, is being overrun by the gays. What next? Fashion? Sonheim is working with director John Tiffany on the production which will show for a private audience at The Roundabout on Friday. The decision to move forward with the production will be made after that. Company has had two Broadway revivals, first in 1995 then in 2006. The original production won six Tony Awards, including Best Musical.


WHAT IN GAY HEAVEN? Lady Gaga has apparently been forgiven by Kermit for wearing his head(s) as a pelt a few years back because, according to E!, she is teaming up with Kermit, Piggy and the the rest of the Muppets for a Christmas special on ABC to air sometime this holiday season  Sources say filming was done at Gaga's former school in NYC, Sacred Heart, and she's confirmed to be singing White Christmas and Orange Colored Sky. This will be Gaga's second holiday special for ABC, the first being A Very Gaga Thanksgiving. While I am not a fan of Christmas, I AM a fan of Gaga and the Muppets. Please give us something campy with Miss Piggy or at least Gaga with her spirit animal, Janice!!!!


Angel is one of the most ethereal/sexy songs I can think of. It doesn't hurt that the song was used on the amazy 1996 Baz Luhrmann film Romeo + Juliet. The song speaks of a lover who brings love like an angel from heaven and evokes that feeling perfectly. Although it was not released as a single and was originally on Gavin's 1995 album Shag Tobacco, this song has had panties dropping since it's inclusion on the R+J Soundtrack and (perhaps most importantly) it made it's way onto my wedding mix. I mean, could there be a higher compliment? I think not. If you don't own the Romeo + Juliet soundtrack you are missing one of the best, most eclectic grouping of songs you can get your hands on. 90s Realness, Gurl!! Now watch Leonardo DiCaprio slobber all over a 17-year-old Claire Danes in a compilation video from R+J, then go hump someone......or something. I'm not judging. Enjoy.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013


.....Total Eclipse of the Heart by Bonnie Tyler. Assured a place on the list of greatest power ballads of all time, Total Eclipse of the Heart was raspy-voiced Bonnie Tyler's biggest hit ever and one of the greatest over the top song/video combinations of all time, bitches. The song was written by Jim Steinman and originally intended for Meatloaf, but Meatloaf's record company said no to paying what Steinman wanted, so goodbye Meatloaf; Hello Bonnie. Tyler hadn't seen the US Top 10 since she took her classic It's a Heartache to #3 in 1977, but this time she hit the top spot. Eclipse took the crown on October 1, 1983 and wore it for four weeks. The video is a hoot-and-a-half, girl. Set in what can only be described as the gayest all-male private school since School Ties (I wish), Bonnie (who inappropriately seems to be the head mistress of said school) runs around in a slinky nightgown while half-naked jailbait dance and fence and flit around in some sort of soft-core porn musical. GOLD!!! There is also a pretty famous literal video version that you can watch HERE that will make you giggle. Not that there isn't plenty in the original version to put a smile on your pants face. Okay, so without further ado, here is the #1 song from 30 years ago, Total Eclipse of the Heart. Enjoy.

Thursday, October 10, 2013


Lady Gaga is about to make her film debut in Robert Rodriguez' Machete Kills. To help promote the film, Gaga has released a lyric video for a track from her upcoming ARTPOP album, Aura, with scenes from the film. The song is a hardcare electro-pop song with a sweet little bridge thoughtout. Pretty cool, I must say. I like it better than when she performed it during her iTunes Festival performance. Also, during this lyric video you get to hear Sofia Vergara scream "MACHETE", so there's that. Watch, bitches!


Lady Gaga is gearing up for the release of her next pop opus, ARTPOP. She's already shown us the Jeff Koons cover artwork, and now she's revealed the full track listing and some of the peeps collaborating on the album. I am very excited to hear new music from Gaga, but R. FU*KING KELLY???? Seriously? C'mon now. NO! Just...NO! Who knows, maybe Gaga can bring something out of him.....and no, I don't mean more urine. Ew. Some of these songs were performed in Gaga's semi-successful iTunes Festival performance like Aura, Sexxx Dreams, Swine and MANiCURE, and the title track and I like them. I don't know if they were final versions or not though. There are lots of stylized titles on the album (triple Xs, weird caps, exclamation points) so I'm loosening up my fingers to type them in the upcoming months. All we can do now is wait patiently for ARTPOP to be released on November 11th. Pre-order HERE. Until then, here is the tracklisting. And HERE is audio of Lady Gaga's performance of the fantastic title song, ARTPOP.

1. Aura
2. Venus
3. G.U.Y.
4. Sexxx Dreams
5. Jewels N' Drugs (ft. T.I., Too $hort and Twista)
7. Do What U Want (ft. R. Kelly)
9. Swine
10. Donatella
11. Fashion!
12. Mary Jane Holland
13. Dope
14. Gypsy
15. Applause


AH-MAH-ZING!! I love Jimmy Fallon's little musical shorts, like the All I Want for Christmas with Mariah that actually made me like Mariah for a full three minutes. This one is awesome!! Miley, Jimmy and the boys do We Can't Stop Brady Bunch style and a cappella. It's pretty cool! Cyrus' new album, Bangerz, is out now on iTunes and I would be SHOCKED if it didn't debut big on the Billboard 200 Album Chart. Anyway, here ya go. Enjoy!!

Wednesday, October 9, 2013


WARNING!! VIDEO HAS ADULT IMAGERY AND SONG CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS!! Okay. There. I warned you. Nine Inch Nails isn't exactly known for a subtle approach to music making, but Closer pulls absolutely no punches AT ALL!! From the super-dark mood of the song, the pulsating synths and the notorious refrain of the chorus (I wanna f**k you like an animal) there is no doubt this song is about sex, sex, sex. Released in 1994 from NIN's The Downward Spiral album, Closer pretty much cemented Trent Reznor as the king of industrial rock. The uber-controversial Mark Romanek directed video includes images dealing with religion, sex, torture, S&M and was only shown in a censored, edited down version late at night on MTV and other music video channels. Only the Playboy TV video show Hot Rocks showed the unedited version in 1994. The song became NIN's biggest Billboard Hot 100 hit  up to that point (#41) and their signature track. So here is the unedited, uncensored version of Closer to hump away too, by yourself or with your significant other. Have fun!

Nine Inch Nails: Closer (Uncensored) (1994) from Nine Inch Nails on Vimeo.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013


.....Half-Breed by Cher!! Yes!!! 40 f**king years ago, Cher was already having #1 songs on the Billboard Hot 100. Having just released her latest album, Closer to the Truth, Cher has been around long enough that she taught Jesus to twerk. Back in 1973 she hit the top of the charts for the second time (first was Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves) with this ode to being mixed raced, Cher is half white and half Cherokee Indian and faces all the problems that go with it. I don't know if you could get away with using the term "Indian squaw" in a pop song these days, but it was simpler times back then. Of course, Half-Breed is a classic and a staple in Cher's cannon of hits. She performs it every chance she gets and we love it every freakin' time!!! Here is the legendary Cher, looking AMAZING, in a classic performance singing her 1973 #1 hit, Half-Breed.


Miley Cyrus hosted and was the musical guest on SNL this weekend, and I must say that she did pretty darn good, you guys. Her first couple of lines on the mic didn't bode well for her, but then she got past SNL's notoriously difficult sound problems and nailed her performance of Wrecking Ball, sounding strong and confident. For We Can't Stop, Miley switched that shiz up and sang it as a country ballad. NICE!! Oh, and she had a little person playing guitar on stage with her. Oh, and of course she wore something see-through for both performances. Ha. Keep it classy, Miley. Guys, I'm kind of in love with her now.


Miley Cyrus' new, much-anticipated album, Bangerz, is finally here. Were you waiting as patiently as I? A decidedly grown up Miley seems to be in control of what is happening on this record, I must say, along with executive producer Mike Will Made It (whose name is recited at the start of every other song). Very determined vocals, power ballads, some goofy fun and great production. Here is my track-by-track review of Ms. Cyrus' adult debut album, if you will.

1. Adore - A straight up love ballad starts off Bangerz, and it's a great way to do it. Soft, lush and quite pretty. A subtle, nuanced vocal performance given in almost a whisper at times. A song about how much she loves her man. I could definitely see this as single material. Adore reminds me of those 90s ballads from Shania Twain like Still the One, aka I love it.

2. We Can't Stop - I really don't need to review this amazy song, do I?

3. SMS (Bangerz)(feat. Britney Spears) - FUN!! Okay, yes. At first listen it is a little overwhelming, but it's actually kind of cute and funny. Britney doesn't show up until the second verse, but Miley is doing a little rapping all through the beginning and then it's a sexy little girly jam all the way through. Even a little naughty ("They as me how I keep a man. I keep a battery pack." Ha!)I am guessing that this WILL be a single. I mean, Britney and Miley? Right?? I can practically see the hot-pants-crop-top video already.

4. 4X4 (feat. Nelly) - "I'm a female rebel" is how this country/rap hybrid starts off. I know "country/rap hybrid" does not instill a lot of confidence in me either, but this is actually kind of fun, y'all! I mean, Miley herself has become a bit of a link between hip hop and country lately and Nelly has always been pretty country, right? It's a hip hop hoe down, bitches!!! Yee-haw!

5. My Darlin' (feat. Future) - Once again, just like Loveeeeeee (I can't with all of those "e"s) on Rihanna's last album, a perfectly good song is ruined by "singer" Future. I do NOT understand him or anyone's interest in him. C'mon! That computer thing they do with his voice makes me want to kill my eardrums. An otherwise fine ballad is ruined by him. That's all I have to say about that.

6. Wrecking Ball - I mean....this song is one of (if not THE) best song of the year so far, IMO.  I absolutely love it. Miley's first #1, y'all!

7. Love Money Party (feat. Big Sean) - Another big party song. Coming in sounding like somewhat of a dark circus theme, Miley mostly speed raps and does it pretty convincingly, I must say. Pretty fun little jam.

8. #GETITRIGHT - Jumping on the hash tag craze, this song is just a breezy little number that rolls along at a pretty easy pace with a whistle along melody. Not exactly a standout track, but not a throw away either. Probably more and more catchy as you hear it more.

9. Drive - It's interesting on these hip hop ballads how Miley's voice still leans toward country music. It sort of draws into focus the similarity between the two genres in a way. Drive is dark and emotional, much like Wrecking Ball in feeling. Very nice.

10. FU (feat. French Montana) - Picking up the pace, but staying dramatic, Miley gets a little angry on FU, as you can imagine from the title. A rap/sung collaboration that works for the most part. Clever lyrics help keep the groove moving along.

11. Do My Thang - Yep. I wrote "thang". That's the way it's spelled, k? At this point you will notice there are a lot of break up songs on Bangerz. This is no exception. You let Miley go and she's gonna do her "thang", girl. This song sounds a lot like a Rihanna track; not her best, not her worst. There are some nice parts of the song, but it's not my fave on first listen.

12. Maybe You're Right - Another break up song with another good vocal on it, a military drum beat and a piano melody thrown in for good measure. Not quite as single worthy as Drive, but could be another ballad release from Bangerz.

13. Someone Else - Sexy!! This song immediately reminded me of What's My Name when it first started, but there's an underlying tension with some club synths and a jittery beat break in before the one minute mark. Pretty cool track that I can see getting a great remix for the clubs.


14. Rooting For My Baby - OH! Now this surprised me. This could easily be a Norah Jones/Colbie Caillat/Carly Simon song. Smooth, sexy, easy listening part of the album I guess. I love it actually. I almost think this is the most unexpected and surprising song on the album, just for the simple sexiness of it. Pharrell is the producer, and I guess if anyone can do smooth and sexy, it's that little cutie pie.  Def a highlight.

15. On My Own - No, Miley is not doing Les Miz!! Ha. Now Pharrell is giving it a groove and a snarl. On My Own is a declaration of independence with a disco beat. Reminds me of Ring My Bell, another Deluxe Version song produced-Pharrell  on Madonna's Hard Candy album. That should have been a single, y'all! Pretty great diva song.

16. Hands In The Air (feat. Ludacris) - Ending on a darker note, bass synth and creepy bleeps and blurbs set the tone for the album closer. The song itself isn't about anything creepy, but about being with someone Miley apparently likes in a club. I like it. It's got a pretty cool vibe. I don't know if this is how to end this particular record, but it's a good track.

Thursday, October 3, 2013


"Hi, I'm Joyce. Television for women." Cole Escola is a brilliant comedian and deserves A LOT of attention. I first learned of Cole through his genius web-series-turned-Logo-show Jeffery & Cole Casserole. This hilarious sketch comedy show was self-made, weird, super gay and funny as all hell. Consistently funnier than any other sketch show on TV. I'm talking to you, SNL. Recently though, Cole has been posting clips on his YouTube channel as one of his many alter-egos, Joyce, a somewhat worried, frantic, talkative spinster with a penchant for red dresses and pixie cuts. Joyce's insight into things like politics (I hope that Hilary Clinton runs for president in 2016. I just think that blondes have more fun.) technology (How 'bout just "telephone, work"?) and other shit life throws at you (Manslaughter is just another word for mistake....and we all make mistakes.) is at times both hysterical and poignant. I thought I'd put a couple of my fave Joyce clips on here and hopefully spread the hilarity a little bit to those of you who have not made her acquaintance. World, meet Joyce. You'll love her. Cole has a show coming up at The Duplex here in NYC called The Deadliest Baby on October 25th. Call or get tickets HERE. Now watch!!!!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013


Good for you, Miley!! I love a girl with a sense of humor. Miley Cyrus is the host and musical guest for Saturday Night Live this weekend and here are the promos with Taran Killam. Looks like she is up for a good time and willing to poke fun at herself. I am pretty excited to see how she does hosting/performing this time around. I am also (surprisingly) looking forward to her new album Bangerz  (October 8th), I gotta say. My fave joke from the promos is when Taran asks Miley why she sticks her tongue out all the time. Watch for the answer, doofus! Don't be so lazy. GAWD!


Britney Spears new video for Work Bitch dropped on the CW last night (I don't know why either) and, peeps, she is WORKING IT! Nice job, Britney. It might even be her doing  most of her own dancing in this one, y'all! Looking hot in the desert (pun intended), Britney (bitch) is back in shape and wielding a whip. Look out! Better than that umbrella, I guess. I'm starting to really like this song too. Forgive me, melodic music. I know not to what I twerk. Anyhoo, watch below and dance a little. One might even work, bitch.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013


....Don't Worry, Be Happy by Bobby McFerrin. I know! I can't believe it was a #1 song either!!! This was the very first a cappella song (was there another one after this???) to reach the top of the Billboard Hot 100 and it stayed there for two weeks. The song was released in conjunction with the masterpiece Tom Cruise Elisabeth Shue Gina Gershon movie Cocktail and originally only reached #88, but later in the year, after the movie gained momentum, it was re-released and rode that shit all the way to #1, guuurl! Thanks, Gina!! Bobby and the song went on to win Song of the Year, Record of the Year and Best Male Pop Vocal Performance at the Grammy Awards in 1989. Not too shabby. The video, on the other hand, can only be described as insufferable, IMO. I'm sorry. I can't with Bobby, Robin Williams and Bill Irwin each bucking for a "Most Obnoxious Actor in a Music Video" Grammy. Hey, Hammy! Overact much? Anyway, the song is still pretty enjoyable on its own, so close your eye holes and listen to the soothing sounds of Bobby McFerrin's Don't Worry, Be Happy....and then take that advice.