HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: I'M A SLAVE 4 U - BRITNEY SPEARS

Oh, Britney! You saucy little bitch. Britney was sick of the teen-queen image back in 2001, so she did what any sensible pop starlet does....she slutted it up!! Not that Britney hadn't already shown some skin before, but her music, in general, was on the safe side. I'm a Slave 4 U, written and produced by Chad Hugo and Pharrell Williams a.k.a. The Neptunes, was full-on sex kitten material and Britney cooed her way to one of her sexiest hits. The song is accompanied by the perfect video. Taking place in a sauna/dance club, Britney dances her ass off, gets licked by a male dancer and teases about every boy and girl in the place. It was a shift in her career and easily one of her best singles of ....... ever. Don't you miss this Britney? THOSE ABS! Anyway, watch the video below and be a slave to her. Hump away, m'friends. Hump away. FUN FACT: I'm A Slave 4 U was written for Janet Jackson and intended for her album All For You. Her loss, Brit's gain.
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REVIEW AND ALBUM SAMPLER: GIORGIO MORODER - DÉJÀ VU

Giorgio Moroder, uber legendary producer, is back with his first album in 30...count them....30 years! And it is shockingly fresh and forward sounding. With guests like Kylie Minogue, Britney Spears, Sia, Charlie XCX, Kelis and more, Moroder brings his signature electro-sound that he basically created with his work with Donna Summer in the mid-70s and his Academy award winning soundtrack work on Flashdance and Top Gun in the 80s and updates them to great effect for your ear holes. Right Here, Right Now (ft. Kylie), the title track with Sia, Back and Forth (ft. Kelis) and his cover of Tom's Diner with Britney are all absolute joys!!!! The whole album is truly a gem-and-a-half, y'all. Check out the album sampler below that has some awesome choreography to entertain you as well. Don't be a dick, just watch it!!! Déjà Vu is available now on iTunes.

NEW MUSIC: BRITNEY SPEARS & IGGY AZALEA - PRETTY GIRLS

Kind of sounds like Fancy 2, Back and Britney-er. Iggy Azalea has enlisted the help of none other than Britney Spears to release the new song Pretty Girls. While the title is undoubtedly fitting, I am just hearing this for the first time myself so the jury is still out. It's catchy, but there is not a lot of substance to hang your hat on right away. I thought the same thing about Britney's Work, Bitch, and I ended up eating those words. It was delicious. I'll give this a little more time, I suppose. You be the judge.

NEW VIDEO: GIORGIO MORODER FT. KYLIE MINOGUE - RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW

The Disco King, Giorgio Moroder, has a new album coming out soon title 74 Is The New 24 and its first single is the disco-lectric Right Here, Right Now with Kylie Minogue. It is a delightful romp that features ethereal vocals from the Aussie diva and enough electro-groove to get your frozen ass moving today. Check out the brand new clip below and watch Kylie be Kylie. Love!! No word on the official release date for 74 Is The New 24, but it will also feature collaborations with Sia, Britney Spears, and Charlie XCX, among others. Can't wait.

TAYLOR SWIFT DOES THE IMPOSSIBLE, SELLS RECORDS. A LOT OF THEM.

In this age of illegal downloads and digital singles, Taylor Swift has once again done the impossible: she sold over 1.287 million copies of her latest album 1989 in one week.  WOW! Seriously, NO ONE has sold a million records with their sales combined in this entire year. Taylor just surpassed every artist for the entire year in one week!!! The only album that has sold more is the Frozen Soundtrack, which was released last year, and this year has sold 3.2 million copies. Little girls buy fucking records, guys!!! I was definitely one of the 1.297 million who bough Taylor's album and if you don't like it you can suck it. It's good, y'all! Taylor's last two albums also sold over a million copies in their first week. 2010's Speak Now sold 1.047 million and 2012's Red sold 1.21 million. This makes Swift the first artist ever to have three albums sell over a million copies in one week. Damn!! She did not, however, break the record for the most albums sold in a week by a female artist. That record is still held by Britney Spears' Oops....I Did It Again, which sold 1.3 million in 2000. "It IS Britney, bitch" says Spears. Taylor's new single, the second from 1989, Blank Space is set to impact radio November 10th.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: I'M A SLAVE 4 U - BRITNEY SPEARS

Oh, Britney! You saucy little bitch. Britney was sick of the teen-queen image back in 2001, so she did what any sensible pop starlet does....she slutted it up!! Not that Britney hadn't already shown some skin before, but her music, in general, was on the safe side. I'm a Slave 4 U, written and produced by Chad Hugo and Pharrell Williams a.k.a. The Neptunes, was full-on sex kitten material and Britney cooed her way to one of her sexiest hits. The song is accompanied by the perfect video. Taking place in a sauna/dance club, Britney dances her ass off, gets licked by a male dancer and teases about every boy and girl in the place. It was a shift in her career and easily one of her best singles of ever. Don't you miss this Britney? THOSE ABS! Anyway, watch the video below and be a slave to her. Hump away, m'friends. Hump away. FUN FACT: I'm A Slave 4 U was written for Janet Jackson and intended for her album All For You. Her loss, Brit's gain.
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THE #1 SONG 15 YEARS AGO TODAY WAS.....

....Baby One More Time by Britney Spears. My how time flies when you're dead inside. It seems like only yesterday that the bright-eyed former Mouseketeer threw on a slutty schoolgirl's uniform and started shakin' her parent's moneymaker for our viewing pleasure. Baby One More Time was the debut single from Britney and it hit the top of the Hot 100 on January 30, 1999 and stayed there for two weeks. The song went on to hit #1 in EVERY country it charted in. Wow! Not bad. It also is one of the best selling singles of all time with over 10 million copies sold. The music video, of course, is a classic. Directed by Nigel Dick, Britney famously dons the schoolgirl outfit and jiggles her teenage jugs all over the halls of a high school in a daydream. Britney was nominated for a Grammy that year for Best Female Pop Vocal Performance but she lost to that hack Sarah McLachlan. Haha. Anyway, there is zero doubt that Baby One More Time is a classic 90s pop song and still Brit's signature tune, even after all these years. So sit back, feel old, and jam out to the #1 song from this week in 1999, Baby One More Time.

5th ANNUAL AMAZING MUSIC AWARDS: SINGLES 15-11

The ladies are nailing it in this round. Only one newcomer and then some, by comparison, musical veterans with pretty varied styles. A 16-year-old Kiwi, a country music superstar gone solo, the Princess of Pop, a crossover queen and a comeback from a British Broad. The videos are exciting too! Sisters are doing it for themselves today, y'all!! Dive into my top 20 countdown and take in numbers 15 through 11. Enjoy!

15. Royals - Lorde
14. Without You - Natalie Maines

13. Work Bitch - Britney Spears

12. Red - Taylor Swift

11. Hard Out Here - Lily Allen

THE FIFTH ANNUAL AMAZY MUSIC AWARDS: TOP 10 ALBUMS OF 2013

I can't believe this is the fifth year end countdown I have done on this blog! Here we are again, the end of another year of music. What a year it's been. We learned a lot about hype, humility and coming in just under the wire to blow 'em all away, didn't we? I wouldn't say that this year was a particularly strong one for albums. There were plenty of singles that hit, but not all of those artists were able to deliver on the one-hit hype. These albums, in my estimation, were the most enjoyable front to back. I could sit and listen to them and they evoked a mood or a curiosity with each track. These artists were able to transcend in some ways the "just get a hit on the radio" vibe that artists are mostly after these days. They have that something extra special. Without further ado, here are my picks for the top 10 albums of 2013.

10. Electric - Pet Shop Boys - Seminal electronic group Pet Shop Boys came back this year with a brand new album, Electric and it's a damn shame that everyone was going gaga over Daft Punk (even though I really like their album too) because Electric is a much more diverse, fun set. Plenty of club tracks, like the opener Axis, along with some classic Pet Shop Boys melodies, like the delicious Thursday. The Boys were back with a vengeance and the whole album pulses with the perfect blend of what we've always loved of PSB and what is yet to come.

09. Britney Jean - Britney Spears - Hyped as Britney Spears' most personal album to date, on THAT it did not deliver.  Alien and Perfume are two of her loveliest songs she's ever recorded and Work Bitch and Tik Tik Boom are sassy Brit-Brit at it's most catchy. How much of Britney is actually invested in her music is not clear anymore, but the old girl (and her production team) can still push out an album full of pop gems. Keep 'em coming, Britney. Unless you're done. Then stop. What Britney Jean does deliver on is pop hit after pop hit and a little more personality.

08. Closer to the Truth - Cher - I mean, C'MON!! It's fucking Cher, people! Cher came back after about a 12 year absence. Her last album of original music was 2001's Living Proof. Closer to Truth finds Cher in full voice and as Cher as ever. Woman's World was just the tip of the anthem-berg. Take It Like a Man and My Love are glorious in their clubbiness and should be playing everywhere anyone is doing anything. This bitch is even going on tour again. AND I'M SEEING HER!! Closer to the Truth is a real return to pop form and as welcome a return as there has ever been.

07. Overgrown - James Blake - James Blake's second full solo album is smooth, sexy, experimental, electronic, sensuous and thoughtful. That voice, those loops and beats. James takes it a step further with Overgrown after his auspicious debut two years ago with self-titled debut. Retrograde is perhaps the most mesmerizing song of the year and the whole album will hypnotize you with its quasi-futuristic sense of musicality. This 25 year old musician has many years in the spotlight ahead of him and he is pioneering something very special.

06. Prism - Katy Perry - Prism is a hodgepodge of musical tastes. It wants to draw in the biggest possible audience and I think it succeeds in its quest. There are dance anthems aplenty, sweet ballads, introspective, if not cliched, heartfelt songs. Katy is coming off of one of the most successful albums of the past decade in terms of singles, and I don't think this is going to surpass Teenage Dream, to be honest. I do think that there are many, many songs to be pulled off this album as singles and eventually they will get to them. Legendary Lovers, International Smile and Spiritual have radio hit written all over them. Roar was an undeniable success, so Katy still has it in her.

05. Pure Heroine - Lorde - The 16 year old from New Zealand hit the scene with weird dancing and deep lyrics that go beyond her years and won over the world. You can't swing a dick without hitting someone listening toRoyals. Trust me. I've tried. Ouch. The album as a whole is quite impressive in its diversity and ability to keep the listener surprised and intrigued. Tennis Court is one of the catchiest songs I heard all year and Buzzcut Season is sweet, simple and soft. Pretty much every song leaves its mark right from the first listen. It'll have you going back for repeat listening for sure. Not just a singles artist, that Lorde. I'd say it's a pretty good start.

04. Bangerz - Miley Cyrus - GIRL!! This album is good, y'all! It's a little bit country, it's a little bit hip hop, it's all Miley. We Can't Stop and Wrecking Ball are crazy good and absolute chart gold and third single, Adore, is going to take us to a new place with it's soft balladry. There is literally no limit to the amount of singles they might pull off of this mo'fo'. #GETITRIGHT, FU, My Darlin', Rooting for My Baby are all single worthy. So forget the twerking and the tongue wagging and listen tot he music. The girl can deliver a song. Bangerz places Miley in the big leagues of pop music and she almost took it over this year. Now can she keep it going?

03. Tales of Us - Goldfrapp - Ethereal, mystical, soft, breathy, sexy and smooth are all words to describe Goldfrapp and their album Tales of Us. A concept album of sorts, each song weaves a tale of a person going through various things in their life from being born in the wrong body, having an elicit affair or simply wandering through life. Goldfrapp take this sound from the 80s glam of Head First (my #1 album three years ago) and back to their amazing 2008 album Seventh Tree but this time a little darker and little less folksy. The opening of Jo with its flourish of strings, the guitar galloping through Drew, the tribal stomps of Thea and the march of the album closer Clay take you on an unforgettable journey through time and space. Goldfrapp can paint a picture with their music like no one else.

02. ARTPOP - Lady Gaga - Lady Gaga was hyped and hyped and hyped until she oversaturated the market before the release of ARTPOP and it may have turned some away from her newest offering. That is a shame because ARTPOP actually takes Gaga back to the simpler times when she was writing for the sake of the beat and the fun than for a cause. Not to say I didn't love Born This Way (my #1 pick two years ago), but ARTPOP is a lot more fun in many ways with is tongue-in-cheek subjects and fun lyrics. The title track is one of the most stunning and simple pieces I think Gaga has ever done and Applause is pure anthemic fun. Venus, Do What U Want, G.U.Y. all deserve their time in the spotlight. If she can get people to start paying attention to the music again, Gaga has still got a lot to show us.

01. Beyoncé - Beyoncé - Well, she did it. Beyoncé released a surprise album and absolutely crushed every bitch on the block. This album is everything Beyoncé is; sassy, smart, classy, sexy, and fresh. It's also things Bey usually isn't: open, real, warm and experimental. There are things we've never heard her do like the crunchingly swaggy Partition and gangster of ***Flawless. There is also pure pop candy in the form of the ode to cunnilingus Blow and the best love anthem I've heard in years XO. We have our usual, stunning Beyoncé ballads here as well with Pretty Hurts and the haunting Heaven, but we also have her very own Thriller in the heavenly Haunted. (See what I did there?) The sky is the limit and Beyoncé is reaching for it. The whole disc is packed full of perfection, including the accompanying videos, and we have a big couple of year ahead of us with this album. It's definitely earned it's position atop this years album picks. Destined to be a classic.

NEW VIDEO: BRITNEY SPEARS - PERFUME

Britney's new single, Perfume, is quite lovely. It has an actual melody (courtesy of co-writer Sia) and that alone puts it in a different category from most of the EDM of post-2010 Britney. I'm not complaining because I love Brit's dance music, mind you. Well now we have the emotional-ish video for the song which finds our Brit-Brit in a love triangle with a guy whose hair is at a weird, in-betweeny length and a young Rachel Weisz doppelganger. Soak that man-slut in perfume before you send him to his whore, Britney!!!! Good girl. I know there is some product placement for Britney's perfume in the video, but it makes sense in this case, so I ain't trying to hate. FUN FACT: Director Joseph Kahn -- who directed her Stronger, Toxic and Womanizer videos -- seems to indicate, via his twitter, that the video's ending was changed at the last minute (without his knowledge) and was supposed to end with Britney doing something "shocking" and almost a full minute more of the video was cut. He called the ending "Breaking Bad-ney". Clever? He noted, "Wish they'd release the director's cut of Perfume. Britney's performance is unbelievable in it. A true artist. Game changer." Spears was seen holding a gun in pictures released from the set. I bet she blew their asses away!! Many fans are calling for a release of the original video on twitter. In the meantime, here is the perfectly lovely released version of Britney Spears' Perfume. Britney Jean, the new album is out now.

REVIEW: BRITNEY SPEARS - BRITNEY JEAN

Okay. This new Britney Spears album, aptly titled Britney Jean, has been hyped as her most personal to date. I am not hearing any evidence of that on initially hearing the record. It seems about as personal as a conversation with an MTA employee. Or a handjob from a Kardashian. That being said, this is a pretty good album. Ray of Light? No. Maybe they meant it's personal for the people who were awake during it's making. Ha. I kid. I love Britney. Britney Jean is, of course, Britney's first and middle name and it bring to mind another artist who hyped a personal album using their middle name that did not do well; Janet Jackson's criminally underrated 2004 effort Damita Jo. That album DID, however, make good on its hype of intimacy. Anyhoo, Britney does have a co-writing credit on every track, but anyone in the music industry knows that just comes from a certain number of successful years in the business and people wanting to work with you. So here is a track-by-track breakdown of Britney Jean.
1. Alien - Britney Jean starts off with a promising track that could be somewhat personal. Alien, produced by William Orbit, among others, and co-written by Britney is all things Orbit; swirling synths, mystical sounding backup vocals and a spot on production. It's got a great melody and, like Gaga's ARTPOP, is delving into space themes. Brit's vocals are nice on this track as well. I would like to see this released as a single.
2. Work Bitch - This cut has been out for a while and it is a pretty banging club track that every gay worth their salt knows by now. Make sure you get the explicit version of the album or instead of "work bitch" it says "work work". LAME!
3. Perfume - serves as the second single from Britney Jean and it's a lovely ballad about a girl losing her man to one of his exes. Personal? Who actually knows if it's that or just more music to move some of her perfume lines. Either way, it's quite lovely and again finds Britney actually singing a melody. Sia co-wrote it and I'll take it. 
4. It Should Be Easy - is a groovy track that, unfortunately, features Will.I.Am. I am so sick of him I can't stand it. The auto-tune on this track makes Cher's Believe sound like an acoustic hootenanny. Still, it's much better than that Scream & Shout monstrosity from last year that they threw at everyone's face and we were supposed to like.
5. Tik Tik Boom (ft. T.I.) - goes hard and sexy with lyrics like "talk dirty to me, babe, every time I want it" Britney is no just flirting on this track. It is full of bass and cooing vocals. One of the stand-out tracks for sure.
6. Body Ache - is not, I learned after hearing it, about a bad flu. It's about dancing until one's body aches. Now I think the last time Britney danced that hard was probably around the time most people buying this album were born, so I find it hard to believe this is personal at all. Ha. This is another hot track.
7. Til It's Gone - Okay, I might believe this is personal on some level. Mourning for lost love could easily fit into Britney's life in many ways. Who knows which lost love this song is about, but it's a nice electro-dance-ballad, if that's a thing. Another stand out track.
8. Passenger - This song is one of the strongest in terms of melody and content that Britney has done in years. Katy Perry co-wrote this song and it seems it could be about God. It's more universally about not trying to control every aspect of your life and letting the universe guide you. Britney turns in a good vocal on this one too, sounding like old-school Brit. This should be a single for sure.
9. Chillin' With You (ft. Jamie Lynn) - Well, this makes a case that auto-tune may be just what the Spears family vocals naturally sound like. They all have little electronic voice boxes. Ha. This is just a simple, bright duet with her little sister, Jamie Lynn, who also has new country single out on iTunes by the way. Nothing groundbreaking here, but I guess it's kind of sweet to hear these two together. They probably understand one another pretty well.
10. Don't Cry - A dark, electronic track closes the album in fine fashion. Mid-tempo beats, sirens and guitar keep this song about staying strong moving along and ending the (non-deluxe) album on a high note. It has a very early Eurythmics feel to it. I like.

BRITNEY SPEARS RELEASES COVER ART FOR NEW ALBUM

Pretty.

NEW VIDEO: BRITNEY SPEARS - WORK BITCH

Britney Spears new video for Work Bitch dropped on the CW last night (I don't know why either) and, peeps, she is WORKING IT! Nice job, Britney. It might even be her doing  most of her own dancing in this one, y'all! Looking hot in the desert (pun intended), Britney (bitch) is back in shape and wielding a whip. Look out! Better than that umbrella, I guess. I'm starting to really like this song too. Forgive me, melodic music. I know not to what I twerk. Anyhoo, watch below and dance a little. One might even work, bitch.
 

BRITNEY SPEARS' "WORK BITCH" VIDEO TEASER PROMISES AN ARID, SEXY ROMP

Britney Spears' is heading back onto our pop culture radar with her new "song"  and video, Work Bitch. Is this technically a song? The jury is still out, but it IS growing on me, I'll have to admit. The video looks like it's going to be pretty hot though....both figuratively and literally. Britney in next to nothing in the desert. Voila! Classic Britney, y'all!! Work Bitch debuted on the Hot 100 this week at #12 and will probably climb higher with the release of this video. Work Bitch, indeed!  Watch the all-too-short teaser below and await the video's release. Britney's 8th studio album is scheduled for release December 3rd

LEAVE MILEY ALONE: IN DEFENSE OF THE WRECKING BALL VIDEO

Seriously, folks. Yes, Miley Cyrus is naked in her new video for the excellent new single Wrecking Ball. Everyone point at the whore and faint. That's sarcasm. I get it. Miley was Hannah Montana (which I coudln't with) a few years ago and now she's not. SHE'S A WOMAN! Does everyone have Alzheimer's by the way? Have we completely forgotten that Janet Jackson was naked in her Everytime video in 1998? Alanis Morissette in her Thank U video in 1998? (big year for nudity) Britney Spears in her Womanizer video in 2008? And of course countless videos by men have featured naked women. Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines being a recent example of rape-iness.. Don't get me started on why Miley took the heat for the VMA performance while Robin got off (pun intended) scot-free. IMO this video does the nudity in a very artistic way and Miley looks great! She is expressing herself and growing up, just like every artist before her. Let's let Miley leave her Disney past (Disney has) and move on with her freakin' life, folks. In the meantime, everybody kiss a cross and watch the video below if your pure heart and eyes can handle it. I am totes obsessed with this song, BTW.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUSTIN TIMEBERLAKE!

He's still just a baby! JT turns a ripe old 32 today, and he is on his way back to the top of the music biz, y'all! Justin, of course, started as little twinky so-and-so as a member of NSYNC, but soon conquered the world as a solo artist. Then he started doing a bunch of "movies" and stopped making music. ESANDALO! Well, we can all calm down and take out our dancing thongs again, cuz girl is BACK! Here, for your earhole pleasure, is some of the best of Justin to shake it to this afternoon. Don't hurt yourself.

NEW VIDEO: WILL.I.AM ft. BRITNEY SPEARS - SCREAM AND SHOUT

I'm not sure this actually qualifies as a song, but the video is pretty. Here is the clip for the new single Scream and Shout. Do with it what you will. I'm not thrilled. Total waste of a perfectly good Britney. Why is she lipsyncing someone else's British accent though?

NEW KE$HA: DIE YOUNG

YAY!! Ke$ha is back with more glitter-covered tunes for our earholes. Die Young is not reinventing the wheel for Ke$ha, AND THAT'S A GREAT THING! Catchy tune, fun lyrics, party anthem: check, check, check. A touch of claps and acoustic guitar are thrown in just for good measure here too. Similar in theme to the song Ke$ha penned for Britney's Femme Fatale, the irresistible Til the World Ends, Die Young is sure to close out many-a-party this fall. Ke$ha's new album, Warrior, is due December 4th. In the meantime, enjoy....

MADONNA'S MOST ICONIC MTV VMA PERFORMANCES

The "M" in MTV might as well stand for Madonna, by most people's standars. Madonna was a pioneer of the modern music video as we know it and has continued to forge new ground with each and every era of her career. So it stands to reason that some of Madonna's most iconic and memorable television performances have been opening the MTV awards. I'm sure they're ALWAYS happy to have her. From the very first performance of Like a Virgin on the very first MTV VMAs in 1984 to the return of Like a Virgin for MTV 20th anniversary show, Madonna has turned it out like nobody's business. Expect to see some more of the Queen in years to come. Madonna!

LIKE A VIRGIN FROM THE VERY FIRST MTV VMA'S (1984)


EXPRESS YOURSELF (1989)


VOGUE (1990)


BYE BYE BABY (1993)


HOLLYWOOD/LIKE A VIRGIN (2003)

LEA MICHELE FOR CANDIE'S SPRING 2012 COLLECTION

The Glee and Broadway star is a red carpet staple and somewhat of a style icon already, so it makes sense that Candie's, the hip young brand, would pick Lea Michele to be the face (and feet) of their new ad campaign called Hangin' at Home. Lea discusses the brand, her involvement and her favorite past Candie's girl in the video below. Lookin' good, Lea!!!