CLIPS FROM EVERY MADONNA CONCERT TOUR. TONIGHT IS REBEL HEART!!!!!

I am seeing Madonna's Rebel Heart Tour at Madison Square Garden tonight!!! I am so excited to see my all-time fave singer up close and personal. To prep for what is going to be an amazing show I thought I'd take a trip back in time and share a clip from each of Madonna's amazing concert tours with you from The Virgin Tour to the MDNA World Tour. Here we go, bitches!!!! Madonna's Rebel Heart Tour is currently cutting its way across the globe. Check online for dates and tickets in your area.

MADONNA FRIDAY: 5 MORE VIDEOS THAT MADE MADONNA A GAY ICON

Last week I gave you five videos that, IMO, helped make Madonna THE gay icon of a generation. Here are five more that certainly didn't hurt that effort. It's Pride Weekend here in NYC and you can bet your best bottom that Madonna will be blasting from video screens and speakers all around the City. From her dance moves to her outfits, Madonna slays her gays with every move. Enjoy these five videos and try not to gag too much. HAPPY PRIDE!!

OFFICIAL FULL LENGTH VIDEO FOR 'BITCH, I'M MADONNA'

I told you I was going to wait until it was ready and available, y'all!! Ha. Madonna's third single from her amazing Rebel Heart album now has its video, Bitch, I'm Madonna. And she IS Madonna all up in this bitch. Filmed at The Standard in NYC (you know, where Solange beat up Jay-Z), the video is a hazy party blur with cameos by Rita Ora, Chris Rock, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Kanye West, Nicki Minaj, Beyoncé and more. LOVE IT!!!! Look for her sons Rocco and David dancing their little butts off too. Here it is, Bitch, I'm Madonna. If you haven't bought Rebel Heart yet you are a terrible human being. Fix that.

THE 'BITCH, I'M MADONNA' REMIXES ARE NAILING IT!!

Madonna is bound to have another #1 dance hit on her hands (it'll be her 46th) with new single Bitch, I'm Madonna, so it makes sense that she'd kill it with all the remixes. Here are the eight official remixes to the track featuring Nicki Minaj. Dance and enjoy. The video premiered on Tidal today and, by all accounts, will be available for the rest of us tomorrow. Could be sooner. We'll see!!!

ANOTHER TEASER FOR MADONNA'S 'BITCH, I'M MADONNA' VIDEO

I mean.....Here is another preview for Bitch, I'm Madonna, which apparently premiering this morning. Rumor has it that the video will be released first on Tidal, so no one will see it for a while. OH, SHIT, SON!! I'm sure we'll get the video by the end of the day. Can't wait!

Bitches its coming Tomorrow!! Can't mess with this lucky star!!!! 😜🔛👻 BitchImMadonna Premiering Wednesday morning!! 💘💘💘💘

A video posted by Madonna (@madonna) on Jun 16, 2015 at 2:34pm PDT

MADONNA'S POSTER/TEASER FOR VIDEO OF 'BITCH, I'M MADONNA' IS EPIC!!

You're not the only one with friends, Taylor Swift!! ha. Madonna has unveiled the poster and a teaser for her upcoming video for next single Bitch, I'm Madonna on her Twitter and Instagram accounts, and bitch, a lot of people are coming to this party. In addition to the Queen the video will feature Nicki Minaj, Beyoncé, Katy Perry, Miley Cyrus and Rita Ora (?). As you see from the tweet below, the video is almost ready, but Madonna is a perfectionist. Can't wait for this one!!!! Rebel Heart is on iTunes now, in case you didn't know.

Video coming soon! Just tryin to make it perfect for all of you❤️😄❤️😓❤️😁 we are hard werking bitches! #bitchimmadonna pic.twitter.com/BCPuVK5lHJ

— Madonna (@Madonna) June 16, 2015

💘#bitchimmadonna 💘. Video Premieres on Tuesday!!! We@Go Hard or We Go Home! ❤️#rebelheartBitches

A video posted by Madonna (@madonna) on Jun 12, 2015 at 12:56pm PDT

MADONNA PERFORMS 'BITCH, I'M MADONNA' ON THE TONIGHT SHOW

YAAAAAS!!! For her first public performance of her club banger Bitch, I'm Madonna, The Queen did it UP!! Mounting a full-scale performance throughout the studio, the audience and the stage, Madonna took over all of The Tonight Show's business and nailed the shit out of the track with some help from some her son Rocco, Diplo, a Nicki Minage collage and some incredibly fierce dancers. Here it is, folks. The Queen!!!

MADONNA IS COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE'S 50TH ANNIVERSARY ISSUE

Madonna graces the cover and pages of Cosmopolitan's 50th Anniversary issue and talks about her new album Rebel Heart, her haters, sex, ageism, feminism, and answers some questions we've all been wondering about. Like, in case you're wondering, if Madonna could collaborate with anyone right now it would be.....Drake. I was hoping for Kylie, but fine. Anyway, here is a little video I put together that hopefully you'll enjoy of the pics from the mag set to Madonna's hot track off of Rebel Heart, Holy Water. Cosmo's 50th Anniversary issue is on stands now and you can (and should) get Rebel Heart now. If you haven't, you're a turd.

MADONNA RELEASES VIDEO FOR 'GHOSTTOWN'

Madonna has accomplished the impossible: She's made me watch something with Terrence Howard in it!! The video for the second single from her amazing Rebel Heart album, Ghosttown, is finally here and well worth the wait. Set in a post-apocalyptic world with only Madonna, Howard and a secret onlooker surviving, the gorgeous ballad moves us through the desolate landscape where somehow Madonna remains flawless. DUH! Seriously though, the video is stunning and Madonna looks spectacular and, even I have to admit, Terrance Howard partners her pretty well in the tango! Here is Ghosttown. Love it or you're stupid.

MADONNA & TAYLOR SWIFT PERFORM GHOSTTOWN AT THE iHEARTRADIO AWARDS

Nailing it!! Love this. Queen of Pop Madonna is joined on stage by fan and fellow pop royalty Taylor Swift for a stirring rendition of her latest single Ghosttown. Taylor does not take a star treatment either, she simply strums her guitar and basks in the glow of Our Lady. She also rocks some matching thigh-high stockings with Madonna. Adorbs. Watch below and love it. Rebel Heart and Taylor's 1989 are both amazing and out now. Check it out.

MADONNA FRIDAY: GHOSTTOWN AND JOAN OF ARC ON ELLEN

It was Madonna week on The Ellen Degeneres Show and Madonna performed some of her songs from the #1 selling (#2 debuting because of bullshit Billboard rules) album Rebel Heart. Here is the 2nd single, the amazing Ghosttown, and the gorgeous Joan of Arc. Happy Madonna Friday!

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: HOLY WATER - MADONNA

Madonna has one of her sexiest, dirtiest songs of recent memory on her new album Rebel Heart. Co-written by the newly-repugnant Natalia Kills, Holy Water, your Humpday Sexy song today, is a trash delight and a perfect update of her Erotica era songs like Erotica and Where All Life Begins. Holy Water is a dance track and is basically about Madonna's -- well, you know -- tasting like holy water. "Yeezus love my p***y best" pretty much sums it up. There is even a call out to Vogue that will have you squealing with joy, girl!! Make sure you're sitting down and don't have to walk anywhere in the office for a few minutes. SHWING! Pick up Rebel Heart on iTunes if you  have not yet. It's her best album since Confessions On A Dance Floor and she is in fine form. Check out the sexy Holy Water, with lyrics in the video, below and hump a priest today, if he doesn't hump you first.

21 DAY CLEANSE: DAY 16

I slept in this morning until 7 instead of going to the gym. I'll go after work today. I got up and had some water before getting in the shower and preparing salads for me and my husband to take to work. I had my juice and headed out the door on this St. Patrick's Day. I didn't wear green. Don't pinch me! I spent the day listening to some Irish artists in celebration of St. Patty's Day. Mostly Sinead O'Connor, but a little Enya and U2 as well, laddie!! I'm like 1 billionth Irish, so I guess I can say that. Work was fine, no major problems. I did get a bit hungry in the morning, but a handful of nuts (again, no comments) helped me get to lunch. Did some exercising after work. I was VERY excited upon getting home today for many reason: A) my Bananarama CD/DVD that ordered from Amazon came in (35 Bananarama videos, bitches!!) AND my physical copy of Madonna's Rebel Heart. I collect ALL of Madonna's albums on CD because I want to have them in my hot little hands. I watched most of the DVD before my husband got home and then we caught up on RuPaul's Drag Race, Untucked and Looking. Now we are settling into a Kimmy Schmidt before bed. Goodnight!

8:00 AM: Green juice
9:00 AM: Green tea w/ Stevia
10:30 AM: Handful of mixed nuts
12:00 PM: Salad
1:00 PM: Green tea w/ Stevia
5:45 PM: Ten rice crackers w/ hummus
8:00 PM: Delicious kale salad from Blossom
9:30 PM: Green tea w/ Stevia

REVIEW: SIX EXTRA TRACKS FROM REBEL HEART

Madonna is really going all out with the releases of her Rebel Heart album. You can buy the regular 14-track edition, the Deluxe 19 track edition or the SUPER Deluxe 25 track edition. There are also some available tracks you can track down for yourself that aren't on any of these editions. I have my sources. Of course, I have all 25 NEW tracks (I'm not counting remixes of Living For Love), so smell me. I have reviewed all the other songs (HERE) and now I bring you the six extra tracks from the super deluxe edition. They are definitely worth a listen and, in certain cases, some of the most fun and different music on the album. Beautiful Scars is a song of self-acceptance. It glides along an easy Pharrell-like beat and delivers a great message. The majestically dramatic Queen sees our lady in an unusually vulnerable place of defeat. It's dark and lovely with a chorus of "the Queen's been slain. She'll never rule again" showing a side of Madonna we don't see very often. It's a really gorgeous song. Borrowed Time is an acoustic driven tune, mid-tempo and melodic. Madonna's voice is smooth and luscious. Delving into a soulful space, Graffiti Heart makes the point that "love is pain, pain is art. Show me your graffiti heart" over an increasing dance beat. This seems pretty autobiographic lyrically, like much of Rebel Heart. Great track. Showing a little sense of humor, a baby's cry is developed into a melody to open the hard dance cut Autotune Baby. This song is  really fun and in line with classic Madonna b-sides like Supernatural. Addicted, not to be confused with my favorite track from MDNA I'm Addicted, is a driving, guitar-laced dance track with a killer synth hook. All of these songs could have easily made it onto the regular edition of Rebel Heart, so look them up and take a listen.

21 DAY CLEANSE: DAY 10

After the delicious homemade meal last night I slept like a dead baby prostitute. That's good, in case you're wondering. Day 10 started with a lower body workout and my daily morning routine. I picked up my juice and went to work. Looking forward to a day that is supposed to have a high of 61 FUCKING DEGREES!!! LIVING!!! My main beyotch at work is doing a one day juice cleanse, so I am riding her ass (not literally for that would be inappropes) about it all day, reminding her to drink water in between and stay positive. She'll live. Morning in court was good, quick and easy. Can't ask for more than that. My afternoon was spent the only way any human should be spending it this wee: listening to Madonna's Rebel Heart on repeat to memorize each and every word. You're doing that, right? The rest of the day went fine and I made it home to snack and watch my Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Kim? Am I right?? I decided, since it's finally not as cold as a witch's titty in a brass bra outside, to go out to the bank and pick something up to eat on the way home. I got a great Greek salad and a green juice for later. It was delicious!! Totally vegan and gluten free with almond feta. Yum. It was a pretty great day overall. We are half way done with the 21 days at this point!! Feeling good and ready for more. As a happy bonus, if you are still haven't bought Madonna's new album, Rebel Heart, check out the full album sampler below and then love it and buy it. Byeeeeee!

6:15 AM: Water w/ lemon and cayenne
8:00 AM: Green juice
9:00AM: Green tea w/ Stevia
12:15 PM: Salad
2:15 PM: Green tea w/ Stevia
5:00 PM: Rice crackers w/ hummus
7:30 PM: Greek salad w/ almond feta (so good)
8:30 PM: Green juice

21 DAY CLEANSE: DAY 9

Day 9 started off with some cardio and a coconut water with some Aloha, which is the world's finest dried green juice. It's good for on the go and I had bought some a while back, so I thought I'd give it a try. Not bad! The morning in court was relatively simple, just some waiting around, but not for too long. Got upstairs and had my salad, so it was all good. I have this WHOLE NEW MADONNA ALBUM TO LISTEN TO ALL AFTERNOON!!! Yes, girl!!!! I had some work to do, but I did manage to review that album, which you can read HERE. There were added stressors throughout the afternoon, but all-in-all I made it through pretty well. the rest of the day was fine. I took one of my friends I work with to Whole Foods after work to pick up a Blueprint cleanse. She is doing it tomorrow. I'm excited for her. My brother-in-law and his girlfriend are coming over tonight and they are making us some food from the Crazy Sexy Diet cookbook!!! How exciting is that? Very. Dinner was delish and company was great. Off to bed. See you tomorrow!

6:15 AM: Water w/ lemon and cayenne
7:20 AM: Coconut water w/ Aloha
8:00 AM: Green juice
9:00 AM: Green tea w/ Stevia

10:30 AM: Handful of raw almonds
12:15 PM: Veggie salad w/ raw sauerkraut
1:00 PM: Green tea w/ Stevia
3:00 PM: Handful of raw almonds
5:30 PM: Rice crackers with guacamole

8:15 PM: Lintil soup, avocado paste, Exekial bread

REVIEW: MADONNA - REBEL HEART (DELUXE EDITION)

IT'S HERE!!! The best day of the year and it's only March!! Madonna's full release (excuse me?) of Rebel Heart (oh) is out TODAY!!! I have already reviewed the first nine songs since those horrible hackers forced the Queen into releasing them early because of their insipid leaks. Read those first and then dive into the realness below. (REVIEW #1 and REVIEW #2). These songs will show that, for inspiration, Madonna need not look any further than her own work. Kicking off the newly released songs is the track that sounds like what would have happened if Madonna had those rumored songwriting sessions with Adele, HeartBreakCity. A lovely ballad with a gorgeous melody, it fits very nicely into the cannon of Madonna's slow songs. Body Shop is an ode to a lover that is trusted to turn our Lady out. With plenty of metaphors (tighten up the suspension, you don't have to ask it), this mid-tempo burner is easy-going, pretty and sassy. Holy Water, co-written by (among others) Natalia Kills, is a dance floor workout. Thinly veiled lyrics about cunnilingus (Don't it taste like holy water?) Madonna takes you back to those naughty Erotica days, professing that "Yeezus love my p***y best". Oh, my!!! There is also a surprise call out to Vogue that makes my toes curl. YAAAS!! Definitely a standout track and I'm sure will be all over the clubs this summer. Inside Out is a dark, beautiful song about an intense relationship. How is this not in 50 Shades of Grey? Maybe it is. I haven't seen it. Anyway, the song is a pulsating, sexy joyride. Madonna's vocals on the lovely Wash All Over Me are some of the clearest on the album. The ballad is about surrender and letting life take you sometimes. Gorgeous and epic. Another sexy romp starts with Best Night, a come-hither number with shades of Indian influence. This is some baby-making (or baby-wasting,depending on your orientation) music here that even references Madonna's sexiest hit ever, Justify My Love. Veni Vidi Vici (ft. Nas) starts with a rap by Madge talking about her past, (and when I struck a pose, all the gay boys lost their minds) referencing many of her hits over the years. She talks about her rise and how she forged her way to success, "I came. I saw. I conquered" she repeats over the chorus. S.E.X. is one of the songs that I'm sure will bring an avalanche of ageist comments from the mindless masses, but to me it's nice to see a woman OF ANY AGE expressing her sexuality. As long as I'm not related to her. Ha! Madonna has never shied away from the subject and Rebel Heart is no exception (I'm an open door. Let you come inside of me). You boys will love this. Messiah is all grandeur and regal. It's another epic ballad with lovelorn lyrics and a gorgeous melody. Closing the (deluxe version) of the album is its title track. Rebel Heart is an ode to all not just Madonna's endurance, but to any visionary who has always felt different and refused to not change. Those who fought through "tough love" and were finally able to say what they wanted to say. You can say it's exactly what Madonna, the undisputed female pop icon of the modern music era, has done from the very beginning of her storied career. Rebel Heart is an eclectic, yet cohesive, album of some of the most focused and finest music Madonna has released since Confessions On A Dance Floor. An epic journey of an artist in her third decade of super-stardom who refuses to idle. An exciting trip down memory lane, into the present and looking firmly forward.
MUST HAVE TRACKS: Ghosstown, Unapologetic Bitch, Illuminati, Hold Tight, Holy Water, Wash All Over Me.

21 DAY CLEANSE: WEEK 2, DAY 8

DAMN, I'M IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY!Woke up this morning at 6:15 for the gym, made myself some water with lemon and cayenne and thought to myself, "it's week two. Time to step on that scale". So I did and, lo and behold, I have shed NINE POUNDS! That is fucking awesome, excuse my French. Nine pounds and I haven't been hungry or lacked energy even once this past week!! Well that motivated me to get my ass to the gym and work out. Checked the temperature and it was 44 already. Oh, this day is going to gooooooood. I had a really great upper body workout, hightailed it back home, made my salad for lunch, packed the amazing trail mix my beautiful husband made for me (we bought about a billion dollars worth of nuts last night) and got out the door. I picked up my green juice from Westerly and went to work. It was so nice out this morning, probably because the universe knows that Madonna's new album is coming out tomorrow and it wants me to be happy in preparation. REBEL HEART!!!! Don't forget. Word. The morning at work was a good. I am still basking in my week of success, so nothing could get me down. I popped up some Bananarama on my phone and worked away. Lunch was a delish and I finished it off with a green tea. Work this afternoon was very, very easy: great judge, short cases, finished early. Glamour!! Had a little time at my desk to get some work done and then headed home for a snack. Had an early salad and now I'm settling down for some RuPaul's Drag Race. Goodnight girl.
Listen to my song of the day below, Bananarama's I Heard A Rumour.
"I am graceful. I am fierce, I am gentle. I am a powerhouse. I am silly. I am serious. I love all my opposites and I am balancing them with ease."

6:15 AM: Water w/ lemon and cayenne
8:00 AM: Green tea w/ Stevia
11:00 AM: Handful of almonds
12:00 PM: Veggie salad w/ guacamole
12:40 PM: Green tea w/ Stevia
2:30 PM: Water w/ lemon and cayenne
5:15 PM: Ten rice crackers w/ hummus
6:30 PM: Veggie quinoa salad
8:30 PM: Green juice

MADONNA'S FIRST LIVE PERFORMANCE OF "GHOSTTOWN"

Madonna stopped by France's Le Grand Journal to perform two songs from her album Rebel Heart: First single Living for Love and (expected) second single, the beautiful, Ghosttown. Singing live with a backing track and piano, Madonna sounds and looks lovely. I really love this song. So far this, Unapologetic Bitch and Hold Tight are my favorite songs that have been released. I cannot fucking wait for the full album tomorrow. I can't. Check out the great performance below. Rebel Heart is officially out TOMORROW!!! MY LIFE WILL BE COMPLETE!!!! In the meantime, enjoy Ghosttown.

MADONNA FRIDAY: MADONNA POSTS FAN ART HINTING AT NEXT SINGLE

Madonna's new album, Rebel Heart, is out next Tuesday (March 10th) in the US, and today she posted some fan art, writing, "Coming Soon...lets hold on to eachother". The art, pictured, has the title of what might be her next single, the amazing Ghosttown. The track is a power ballad and is basically a song about holding on to those who you love during rough times. Listen to the cut and buy Rebel Heart next week!! Here is Ghosttown. Happy Madonna Friday!!