Thursday, May 29, 2014

THE BEST ONE, LaTOYA JACKSON, IS 58 TODAY!

SHHHHHHH! I'm 58.
I mean, c'mon. You can have your Michaels and your Janets and your Jackson 5s, but LaToya Jackson, the hot mess multi-talented living legend, is the best Jackson. Well she is turning 58 today! Right? I remember reading a review of her 1988 album, LaToya, that said something to the effect of, "Michael Jackson can sing and dance. Janet Jackson can sing and dance. LaToya Jackson looks great in a studded bra." That pretty much sums it up. LaToya has always been a bit of an outsider in her family. She started off pretty well, singing on their family variety show, forming a band with sisters Janet and Rebbie. She had a couple of Hot 100 hits in the early 80s with Heart Don't Lie and Hot Potato, then came Playboy, her family's public shunning and her disastrous marriage in which she claimed to be beaten and brainwashed, and more and more plastic surgery. There were a lot of rough years, but LaToya came back! Now she's bigger than ever, appearing in such blockbuster television shows as Armed & Famous, Celebrity Big Brother and (actual hit show) Celebrity Apprentice. This girl is on fire!! With her every growing breasts and ever shrinking nose, LaToya is a Jackson through and through. Also, as cited on her wikipedia page, "LaToya is a known vegetarian." WOW! In all seriousness, I have actually gotten a kick out of Toy for many years, just out of pure campiness. She's been on RuPaul's Drag Race three times, ladies! The girl is a mess, but we kinda love her for it. Here are some well sung artifacts from KNOWN VEGETARIAN LaToya Jackson. Please watch You're Gonna Get Rocked!. It's amazing. Enjoy and Happy Birthday, LaToya!

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