MARIAH ANNOUNCES RELEASE DATE AND TITLE FOR NEXT ALBUM. MAKES ME REGRET LEARNING TO READ.
Seriously? Here is a video of Mariah Carey doing some sort of creepy layered whispering, laughing dialogue thingy while explaining that the name of her new album, out May 27th after a year-long delay is....are you ready for this? Me. I am Mariah......The Elusive Chanteuse. Oh lawd!! I mean, the only thing worse than that title is the full body "picture" on the cover of the album (the one posted here). I put picture in quotes because they are trying to pass this oil painting off as a photo. Her body looks about as much like that as mine does. Mariah explains that this mess-of-a-title is inspired by writing on a self-portrait she made when she was three-and-a-half. Well, I'm sure I pissed my pants at some point when I was three-and-a-half, but I ain't gonna slap those underoos on an album cover and call it a day. Get out! Let's hope the music is good. Anyway, if you are eager to abuse your ears and eyes, watch the video below. I can't.