REVIEW: RIHANNA - UNAPOLOGETIC

For an album called Unapologetic, I sure felt like I'd been wronged by listening to it. I love Rihanna. She has had some of the best singles of the past decade and an astounding run of the charts thus far in her career. She is already tied for 3rd among women with the most #1 singles on the Hot 100 (11) with Whitney Houston and she's only been charting since 2005. Remarkable. Her albums are not always strong, but they ALWAYS contain singles that are obvious chart hits. 2011's Talk That Talk was her best album since the under-appreciated Rated R. Unapologetic does not have a single obvious hit on it. The first song on the record, Fresh Off the Runway, is one of the most irritating, jarring songs I have ever heard. It seems to strive to make an impression through "shocking" use of the F word and annoying repetition. What is this? Not cute, RiRi. The first single, Diamonds, is interesting in that it's a little something different from Rihanna. The song, currently sitting at #2 on the Hot 100, is atmospheric and smooth and THE standout on the album. Take the good where you can get it on this one. Numb (ft. Eminem) is clunky and drones along like a dying sloth for the full three-and-a-half years minutes that it lasts. It's not good, people. Loveeee Song (ft. Future) is a song that could have been saved with a better duet partner. I don't know who Future is, but if this is the future I hope the Mayans were right. His "voice" (or the computer that generates his "voice") should not be allowed to be recorded under any circumstances. Jump references Ginuwine's Pony. That's all I'll say about that. Right Now (ft. David Guetta) at least has a little life to it, which automatically makes it different from most of the album, but it is painfully generic and sounds like a Nicki Minaj reject from her last (not great) album. She also teams up with former assailant Chris "The Fist" Brown on a song called Ain't Nobody's Business which I absolutely refuse to acknowledge with a review. And just for the record, it's EVERBODY'S business because he decided to beat up another famous person. Here is one good thing!!!! There is a song on Unapologetic that I kinda like. Love Without Tragedy/Mother Mary is actually an interesting, heartfelt sounding song that I'm sure will never see the light of day, much like her best work on Rated R. Sad. The rest of the album is pretty boring and it pains me to say so. I know this review is much more negative than I would normally put on the blog, but I just had to vent my frustration with this album. If Rihanna is going to continue her album-a-year pattern, she's gotta put quality on an even par with quantity. Skip this one if you are not a completionist. Sadly, I am. Maybe some of these tracks will grow on me. Oh, wait. THIS JUST IN: They won't.