THE #1 SONG 13 YEARS AGO TODAY WAS.....

....Music by Madonna. Madonna was high on her upward career momentum from Ray of Light when she

released follow up album and single Music in 2000. Released in late August 2000, the song was a return to old school, dance Madonna and was embraced by fans (re: gays) immediately and raced up the charts, becoming her 12th #1 song and a staple of her concert performances ever since. Music also reached #1 in 25 countries total. So there. In the video Madonna and close friends Niki Harris and Debi Mazar are rolling in a limo driven by Ali G. (Sacha Baron Cohen) on their way to a strip club and drinking champagne. There is an animated section of the song that was added because Madonna was several months pregnant with her second child, Rocco, at the time and couldn't do any stunts. Of course, there was controversy surrounding the use of strippers and porn stars, but Madonna was just proving a point by doing what the boys were doing in their videos, so suck it! Music spent four weeks at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 and infinity in my heart and bootie. Enjoy the early 2000's with Madonna and make the people come together.

REVIEW: CHER - CLOSER TO THE TRUTH

NO ONE CAN JUDGE CHER!!! I would like to start this review with that simple statement FACT. Cher is a living legend, a diva, a goddess and an American treasure. Cher is the leading cause of gay freak-outs in the world. Cher is Cher. Back with her 26th studio album, Closer To The Truth, Cher is in full dance diva mode. With a little help from Paul Oakendfeld, Timbaland (among others) on production and Pink and Bonnie McKee (among others) on songwriting, Cher has managed to once again put together a great album full of up-to-date music with that special Cher twist. (It's hard to write a single sentence in a blog about Cher without writing her name, obvi). This Cher album is in its highest gear on club bangers like first single Woman's World, album stand out Take It Like a Man (featuring Scissor Sisters' Jake Shears) and the anthemic My Love.  Cher enlists Pink's songwriting talents on stomper I Walk Alone, which comes with not only beats but banjo! Cher and a banjo. Enough said. Of course, it wouldn't be a Cher album without some good old fashioned emoting, so our lady does not disappoint with ballads like the soaring, guitar heavy Sirens,  second single I Hope You Find It and another Pink offering Lie To Me, which also features her vocals. Guys, c'mon. This is Cher. CHER! Get out there and listen to this album or I will remove your face. She's been in it to win it for all of her 67 years and you owe her. Watch the video for Woman's World below and get ready cuz CHER IS GOING ON TOUR IN 2014 WITH HER DRESSED TO KILL TOUR!!!!  CHER.

HAPPY MONDAY SONG: SUDDENLY MONDAY - MELANIE C.

Did you guys see the Emmys last night? If so, you are probably still sad. It was the most depressing awards show of ALL TIME!! There was an "In Memoriam" every 10 minutes and Carrie Underwood sang Yesterday by the Beatles as a tribute The Beatles, television in general, and JFK's assassination . What? Why? Elton John also sang a tribute to Liberace that had exactly zero things to do with Liberace and Neil Patrick Harris seemed to be aggressively trying to never be asked to host anything ever again. Sad face. If you were fresh out of fucks to give about The Emmys, then you won't NEED this Happy Monday Song, but you might enjoy it anyway. Melancie C, a.k.a. Sporty Spice, recorded  Suddenly Monday for her 1999 debut solo album Northern Star, but it was never released as a single. A throwback to those glittery songs of the 60s like Happy Together or God Only Knows, this song ALWAYS puts a smile on my face. There was no video for Suddenly Monday, but that's okay, just listen to it and make your Monday a better place, y'all.

MADONNA FRIDAY: JUSTIFY MY LOVE: MDNA TOUR VIDEO

Here is 55 year old Madonna looking better than any of us have the possibility of looking on our best day ever. To be fair, she was only 54 when she made this video, so...... Madonna's MDNA Tour was, of course, the top grossing tour of 2012 and the second highest grossing tour by a female artist of all time, behind her own Sticky & Sweet Tour, and yours wasn't. It was crazy good, y'all. I saw it at Yankee Stadium and it blew my wad mind. Here is little video interlude that she showed while taking one of her few, short breaks from dancing her ass off on stage. Justify My Love, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the song (a.k.a. soulless Cretans) is Madge's #1 song from 1990 and it appeared on her first greatest hits album The Immaculate Collection. Fun fact: that album is the only reason why I know how to spell "immaculate". Of course the video is legendary; banned by MTV for sexual content and the first video single ever released. Here she is, 22 years later, updating that performance and looking damn good while doing it. The MDNA World Tour is now available on iTunes in both video and audio format. Get it! Happy Madonna Friday!!!

NEW SOLANGE VIDEO: LOVERS IN THE PARKING LOT

It's fashion, darlings! Unlike Beyonce, who consistently wears curtains as a fashion statement, Solange, her younger sister, has established herself as quite the ultra-cool, young fashionista. With the third single and video from her craze-mazing EP, True, (Losing You blew my mind back in October 2012 and my fave Looks Good With Trouble in May 2013) Solange works it in a pawn shop after hours in various cool-as-shit outfits and perfects the chasse to the tune of her new single Lovers In The Parking Lot. How everyone in the world doesn't own this EP is beyond me. C'MON, FOLKS! Get onboard the Solange train. Watch the video, buy the album, be cool like me. It's that simple.

NEW SCARY SPICE! YEP, YOU READ THAT RIGHT...AND IT'S PRETTY GOOD, Y'ALL!

Has your life felt spice-less lately? Well, get ready for a jolt of old-school girl power goodness. Mel B, aka Melanie Brown, aka Melanie B, aka Scary Spice is back with a brand new, pulsating single, For Once In My Life. You guys, it's good!! With a beat that would make Chris Brown happy (get it...beat...Chris Brown) and campy-ass video (she strips and kisses her clone) that features her ample jugs throughout, Scary has a hit a club hit on her hands. Best of all, unlike a lot of pop divas these days (I won't mention any names...cough, cough...Britney) the song has actual lyrics AND a melody. Good for you, Spice Girl. I can't find any info on whether or not Brown's third album is on the way. Her first album, the excellent Hot came out in 2000, and the follow up, L.A. State of Mind, came out in 2005. Anyhoozers, watch Melanie shake her melons for three-and-a-half minutes below and dance around like it's 1998. Oh, and she's on America's Got Talent because...well....everyone else has been, so why not?

MILEY CYRUS VAULTS 21 SPOT TO TAKE HER FIRST #1 WITH WRECKING BALL

Woot! Miley Cyrus had ridden that date-raped piece of hardware in her new video Wrecking Ball straight to #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Her naked object-ophile video (which I like, for the record) has been seen over 120 MILLION times since its release only nine days ago and,  for better or worse, since youtube views are now counted on the Hot 100, Miley is on top, bitches!! I personally really like the song and think it deserves props. Miley's album, Bangerz (I can't with the "z") is due October 8th. Here is Miley rubbing where her bathing suit covers all over a giant testicle because why? SHE CAN!! Deal with it.

KATY PERRY RELEASES NEW SINGLE, DARK HORSE, CHOSEN BY FANS

If you click the link below you can listen to the next offering by Katy Perry,  her second single from the forthcoming album Prism, out October 22nd. The single, Dark Horse, was previewed and picked by fans to become Katy's next radio chart topper (probably). Juciy J guests on the track and it is completely different from lead single, the IMO underwhelming Roar, and more in the style of previous hit E.T. Let's hope the video is better too! Anyhoo, click the link below and enjoy Dark Horse. Click below!!

DHKP by kingknights

LADY GAGA SINGING TITLE SONG FROM "ARTPOP" AT iTUNES FESTIVAL

Depending on who you talk to, Lady Gaga's iTunes Festival performance was either amazing or a total self-indulgent mess. I am somewhere in the middle. Since the first time I saw Gaga perform at the tiny, intimate space at Terminal 5 just a couple of months after her first #1 single, my only complaint about her concerts is her LONG LONG LONG-ASS monologues between songs. I like a little banter, but C'MON, GURL! Give me a song at least every hour on the hour. Ha. I love her though, don't get me wrong. Her performance kicked off the iTunes festival with no old hits but 8 brand new songs from her upcoming ARTPOP album, and the songs themselves sound pretty promising.....not super commercial, but promising. Gaga changed on stage several times (taking her sweet ass time), wore her own hair for a while (a short black bob, BTWs) and sang songs about sex, love, drugs and being yourself. This song in particular, the title track, really caught my ear balls. It's got a Depeche Mode, Nine Inch Nails, industrial kind of feel to it and I think it'll be a hit. Check out ARTPOP below and, if you are curious, go HERE to check out Gaga's full festival performance. There's even an app for that!!!

ICONA POP'S NEW VIDEO CELEBRATES DRAG BALL CULTURE! WATCH "ALL NIGHT"

Icona Pop are not ready to rest on the monster success of I Love It, their long-time-coming smash hit. They are back with All Night, and  are enlisting the help of the drag elite for their video. If you have ever seen the amazing documentary Paris is Burning (if you're gay and you haven't, shame on you! It's on Netlix) then you are familiar with the hard work and glamour that goes along with these lovely creatures in the world of drag ball culture. This is a nice little tribute to them. By the way, the guy who is speaking on the couch in the beginning is named Jose Xtranaganza, or as he's identified at the end of the video Father Jose, and he was one of Madonna main dancers during her Vogue/Blond Ambition Tour era and helped her learn to vogue. See him  HERE!!!! Watch and love.

JIMMY KIMMEL TRICKS THE FASHION ELITE INTO LYING! WATCH AND LAUGH.

HA!! I love when people are forced to talk about something they know nothing about....especially when it's completely made up!! Jimmy Kimmel sent his crew to New York Fashion Week with a bunch of made up designer names and fooled the in-the-know folks to talk....well....lie about them. Hilarity ensues. My favorite is the guy talking about Asian style when asked about the collection by Purina Chow. GOLD!!! I actually get it. You are at an event in your industry and someone sticks a camera in your face and asks you a question. You can't say, "DUH, I don't know," so you L-I-E! Still........ Watch and laugh, peeps.

  

HELP SAVE MY FRIEND'S LIFE! SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP.

One of my friends and one of the most compassionate, beautiful souls you will every meet, Andrea Sloan, of Austin, Texas is in the fight of her life against ovarian cancer and needs your help to obtain compassionate use of a drug that is available, FDA approved and her doctor wants her to have. The problem? The company, BioMarin, is not giving her permission to use it. Please watch the story below, join her FaceBook page  HERE , her twitter account HERE and tweet #BMN673 to support her effort to obtain this lifesaving drug. She is an attorney who provides PRO BONO work to women who are the victims of domestic violence though the Texas Advocacy Project. I mean, come one!! This woman is EVERYTHING! She loves horses, she loves Bon Jovi. Good lord, what else do you need to know? HELP HER!!!!!! Please, help her. Sign the petition HERE!!!!!!

REVIEW: GOLDFRAPP - TALES OF US

Goldfrapp is one of the best groups EVS!!! No doubt. If you don't agree, you can't hear music. It's not at the right frequency for your ear holes. On their sixth album, Tales of Us, Alison and Will  create an album that is a tapestry of sound and emotion, weaving tales and evoking emotion that is pure beauty. Leaving behind the 80s synth pop of their last effort, 2010's amazing Head First, Goldfrapp head straight into orchestral territory with full force. From the opening (and really only detectable) synth of Jo, Goldfrapp paints an aural landscape that tells the story of ten people, one whom is a Stranger.. It's not clear on all the tracks if the songs were inspired by the actual person to which the title refers, but some of the songs are based on people and events, like the amazing closing track Clay, which was inspired by a real letter written by a WWII soldier to his dead same-sex lover. (sigh and cry) Annabel is based on a novel of the same name by Kathleen Winter about a little girl born in the body of a boy. Simone tells the story of a woman who catches her lover in bed with her daughter. ESCANDALO!! As usual, the lyrics to the songs of Goldfrapp belie the music. The videos released so far for the sumptuous Drew and the mesmerizing Annabel are directed by Alison's partner Lisa Gunning and are perfect depictions of the songs. (Watch below) The songs are all pretty mellow, building wonderfully in most cases. Those looking for the beats Goldfrapp provides on other albums, like Head First or Supernature, will not have a lot to hang their raver glasses on her, but Thea pounds along at a pretty good pace if your looking to add to your "molly" mix from this album. Tales of Us can most readily be compared to their fucking BRILLIANT 2008 effort Seventh Tree (one of my favorite albums of all time) and their game-changing 2000 debut Felt Mountain. I just saw Goldfrapp perform this album on Tuesday  night (September 10th) at The Beacon in NYC and it was so great I didn't even get up to pee in the middle of it........and I pee A LOT. So if that's not a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is, y'all! Tales of Us is available on iTunes now and for the super fans you can pre-order the box set which will include a digital copy, a CD, a vinyl copy, a book and a DVD of video clips for every song which hits in November. Anyhoo, watch the videos below and blow your load mind. Enjoy and buy this album...like...yesterday.
Goldfrapp - Drew from Mute on Vimeo.

Goldfrapp - Annabel from Mute on Vimeo.

LEAVE MILEY ALONE: IN DEFENSE OF THE WRECKING BALL VIDEO

Seriously, folks. Yes, Miley Cyrus is naked in her new video for the excellent new single Wrecking Ball. Everyone point at the whore and faint. That's sarcasm. I get it. Miley was Hannah Montana (which I coudln't with) a few years ago and now she's not. SHE'S A WOMAN! Does everyone have Alzheimer's by the way? Have we completely forgotten that Janet Jackson was naked in her Everytime video in 1998? Alanis Morissette in her Thank U video in 1998? (big year for nudity) Britney Spears in her Womanizer video in 2008? And of course countless videos by men have featured naked women. Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines being a recent example of rape-iness.. Don't get me started on why Miley took the heat for the VMA performance while Robin got off (pun intended) scot-free. IMO this video does the nudity in a very artistic way and Miley looks great! She is expressing herself and growing up, just like every artist before her. Let's let Miley leave her Disney past (Disney has) and move on with her freakin' life, folks. In the meantime, everybody kiss a cross and watch the video below if your pure heart and eyes can handle it. I am totes obsessed with this song, BTW.

I'M BACK!

After many months away, I have finally re-ignited (if you will) my passion for pop culture! New albums coming soon, controversial artists and sassiness, in general, abound. So look out, world! Here I come!!! (cricket........cricket.........cricket)