DO NOT TRY TO STEAL BEER IN ALVIN, TEXAS!!

If you wanna walk into WalMart (strike one) and steal (strike two) cases of beer, do not do it in Alvin, Tx. Three brothers tried to do just that and a dowdy looking but brave/stupid woman tried to smash out their windshield with her feet for it. Of course she only ended up smashing the pavement with her face, but it's the thought that counts. Monique Lawless (ironic name, no?) pulled up her already boob-high shorts and ran out to their car after seeing them leave and telling the cashier to "WATCH MY PURSE". I cannot make this up, y'all. Now I get being fed up with crime, but why in the name of all that is tacky would an adult chase three possibly-armed criminals over three cases of beer? Pick your battles, honey. Oh well. Her heart was in the right place. She's like Xena... if Xena was a middle-aged lady with a black eye who lived in a Texas suburb and cared about beer. (strike three)