MADONNA FRIDAY: HANKY PANKY

"Nothing like a good spanky". Oh, my! You saucy little whore!!! Madonna's 1990 album, I'm Breathless (Music from and inspired by the film Dick Tracy) has many, many gems on it, but Hanky Panky was something of a naughty standout. The album featured three songs by Broadway master composer Stephen Sondheim and the rest of the track listing was filled out mostly by songs written by Madonna and long-time collaborator Patrick Leonard. Hanky Panky is a saucy tale of a girl who enjoys a little sadism in her life. The song, like all the songs except Vogue on the album, is in the big band, Broadway, jazzy style to match the film Dick Tracy in which Madonna played the sexy Breathless Mahoney. In short, it rocks!! Hanky Panky was released in the summer of 1990 as the second single, following Vogue, from I'm Breathless and quickly rose to #10 on the Hot 100. No video was made for the song, but this is the performance from Madonna's legendary Blond Ambition Tour. So good you'll want a spanky yourself! Now spend the rest of the day listening to Madonna or you're a heathen. "My bottom hurts just thinking about it".

THE BEST ONE, LaTOYA JACKSON, IS 58 TODAY!

SHHHHHHH! I'm 58.

I mean, c'mon. You can have your Michaels and your Janets and your Jackson 5s, but LaToya Jackson, the hot mess multi-talented living legend, is the best Jackson. Well she is turning 58 today! Right? I remember reading a review of her 1988 album, LaToya, that said something to the effect of, "Michael Jackson can sing and dance. Janet Jackson can sing and dance. LaToya Jackson looks great in a studded bra." That pretty much sums it up. LaToya has always been a bit of an outsider in her family. She started off pretty well, singing on their family variety show, forming a band with sisters Janet and Rebbie. She had a couple of Hot 100 hits in the early 80s with Heart Don't Lie and Hot Potato, then came Playboy, her family's public shunning and her disastrous marriage in which she claimed to be beaten and brainwashed, and more and more plastic surgery. There were a lot of rough years, but LaToya came back! Now she's bigger than ever, appearing in such blockbuster television shows as Armed & Famous, Celebrity Big Brother and (actual hit show) Celebrity Apprentice. This girl is on fire!! With her every growing breasts and ever shrinking nose, LaToya is a Jackson through and through. Also, as cited on her wikipedia page, "LaToya is a known vegetarian." WOW! In all seriousness, I have actually gotten a kick out of Toy for many years, just out of pure campiness. She's been on RuPaul's Drag Race three times, ladies! The girl is a mess, but we kinda love her for it. Here are some well sung artifacts from KNOWN VEGETARIAN LaToya Jackson. Please watch You're Gonna Get Rocked!. It's amazing. Enjoy and Happy Birthday, LaToya!

RuPAUL'S DRAG RACE QUEENS SOUND OFF ON "TRANNY" CONTROVERSY ON TWITTER

RuPaul's Drag Race has had some outspoken, sassy queens through the years, so it's no surprise that they be all up on twitter talking about Trannygate. Here are some tweets from the girls.....even Lil' Poundcake gets in on the act. Ha! If you click on "expand" underneath each photo you will see the conversations for each. In particular, I find Sonique's interesting. She is a transgender woman that was a contestant on the show and who is supporting RuPaul. She is the only one so far to state out-right that Ru is NOT transphobic. I put her full facebook post at the end. READ!

@gertrudesuxx I'm offended by intent .. But never by language ..
— Sharon Needles (@SHARON_NEEDLES) May 25, 2014

I will always love @Carmen_carrera We love our differences.I am her #heather @RuPaul #goddess thank you ladies for the debate and dialogue
— Sutan RAJA (@sutanamrull) May 25, 2014

I always thought #tranny was slang for transmission. As in, "My burgundy Oldsmobile 98 Regency has an automatic tranny."
— Magnolia Crawford (@magnoliaisme) May 28, 2014

Follow the leader... pic.twitter.com/uc6lH53NEe
— Carmen Carrera (@carmen_carrera) May 26, 2014

Transphobia is emotional disgust towards trans people. Ru has accepted EVERYONE. Those that think otherwise are unintelligent. #Tranny
— Lil' Pound Cake (@LilPoundCake1) May 25, 2014

Post by Sonique Rupaul's drag Race 2.

JUST BECAUSE: RuPAUL IS LEGENDARY

RuPaul is under attack, y'all. Ru and his amazing show, RuPaul's Drag Race, have recently been criticized by people from our own LGBT community for using supposed transphobic terminology. The words in question are "tranny" and "she-male". To be more precise, "she-MAIL" is used in a weekly segment that tells the queens what their challenge is going to be for the week. Anyone who doesn't see that this is a play on the word "e-mail" for use on a show about drag queens is a complete moron. I mean it. You need to lighten the fuck up, girl!!!!  This is funny. Do you not think that drag queens get called "she-male" all the time? The other use of the word came in a segment called "Female or She-Male". While this could have been a little off-putting to some, the term was once again assigned to drag performers, not transgender women. The game required contestants to identify whether close up shots of body parts belonged to a female celebrity or a drag queen. I would say that is pretty harmless, and if anything, shows that drag queens don't mind one bit being identified as or with transgender women. Anyone who thinks that RuPaul is transphobic or doesn't support EVERYONE in the LGBT community obviously has not done their homework. Ru has been a positive force and a prominent face for ALL of us and we should thank her for her hard work and generosity. Once we start attacking our allies and those in our own community, we weaken ourselves. Do we think we have enough power now that we can turn on one another? We are not. The last thing we need is to start tearing one another apart when we know damn good and well that we support all our LGBT brothers and sisters. How about writing your politicians who still think we are less than? Are you as vigorously challenging them as you are RuPaul? Doubtful. Ru is our friend, brother, sister and mother. Now everybody say "LOVE".

THE #1 SONG 25 YEARS AGO TODAY WAS.....

.....Forever Your Girl by Paula Abdul. It took a full year for Paula Abdul's debut album, Forever Your Girl, to reach the top of the Billboard album chart and her single Straight Up to make it to #1, but once they did there was no stopping Paula. Hot on the heels of clinching her first #1 song, Paula's record label was eager to capitalize on her new success as fast as possible and released the title track to her album. With a flashy video, some even flashier choreography by Paula herself and a gaggle of adorable kids, including an 8-year-old Elijah Wood by the way, Forever You Girl hit the peak of the Hot 100 on May 20, 1989 and stayed there for two weeks.  It would be the second of four #1 singles from the album. Definitely one of Paula's signature songs, FYG also topped the AC and Dance Music charts in the US and hit #1 in Canada. It's a sweet love song and an 80s classic. Here is the #1 hit from 25 years ago today, Paula Abdul's Forever Your Girl.

RuPAUL SERVES LOGO TV A DOSE OF REALITY OVER CONTROVERSY

Somehow, after six seasons of using the expression "You've Got She-Mail" on RuPaul's Drag Race, the trans community is up in arms about it. Out of nowhere. Logo decided to edit out the popular, tongue-in-cheek phrase from future shows, but RuPaul is having none of it. The Queen Mama was asked about the word "tranny", which she uses on the show as well, and which some in the trans community are bothered by, even though Ru has been a tireless supporter of ALL LGBT communities throughout her career, and this is what Ru had to say:
"No, it is not the transsexual community. These are fringe people who are looking for story lines to strengthen their identity as victims. That is what we’re dealing with. It’s not the trans community, because most people who are trans have been through hell and high water and they know -- they've looked behind the curtain at Oz and went, 'Oh, this is all a f**king joke. But, some people haven't... You know, if your idea of happiness has to do with someone else changing what they say, what they do, you are in for a f**king hard-ass road."

AAAAND what? Then Logo decided to get real cute and issue a statement of their own when asked about Ru's response to criticism:
"We are committed to supporting the entire LGBT community and will not feature any anti-trans rhetoric on our shows."

Well, Ru doesn't get cute, she gets drop dead gorgeous, so when she found out that reports were getting out that Logo was "distancing" itself from RuPual, Ru put out this GENIUS statement:

Post by RuPaul.

Trust, indeed! If anyone thinks RuPaul is transphobic, they are complete idiots. RuPaul has been a tireless defender and proud member of the LGBT community throughout her career and the fact that it took this "activists" SIX seasons to even notice that the phrase was a part of the show goes to show they have know idea who Ru is or what she stands for. I'll leave you with a little tidbit of wisdom from RuPaul herself:

Post by RuPaul.

DID MADONNA TEASE A NEW SINGLE WITH KATY PERRY?

The jury is still out. Madonna and Katy Perry obviously have a new photo spread coming out in V Magazine, but Madonna put a very curious post on Instagram Saturday that has her fans swooning. Is the Queen of Pop putting out a new single soon called Unapologetic Bitch? If this pic is to be believed, YES!! There are all kinds of rumors swirling since Saturday, including some that speculated it would be released Memorial Day (which didn't happen). Who knows if this is actually happening, but there is a snippet of a song that Billboard released last week from a "mystery aritst" that is a funky, disco track that people are speculating is Madonna. Who really knows? Not me.....but I'm hoping!! Here is the Instagram post an the snippet below. What do you think?

NEW LANA DEL REY: SHADES OF COOL

Although her new album, Ultraviolence, isn't out until June 17th, Lana Del Rey is unleashing the second single from the album, the James-Bond-esque Shades of Cool. I am living for this 70s throwback version of Lana we are getting so far from first single West Coast and this gem. Am I right, ladies? Looks like Ultraviolence may be as moody and awesome as Born To Die. SCORE!! If they haven't asked her already, I'm sure Lana has a few Bond themes completed already, if not she could probably queef one out write one in her sleep. Enjoy Shades of Cool.

MADONNA FRIDAY: ALL OF MADONNA'S #2 HITS

Even though ALL Madonna songs deserve a #1 placement, these little babies just missed it. Here are the unforgettable hits that somehow didn't top the charts upon release. I hope we all hang our heads in shame that we didn't make that happen. She'd do it for you, people!! Can you believe that Material Girl and Express Yourself didn't hit #1!! It's a national tragedy that we should commemorate every fucking year! Anyhoozers, here are all of Madonna's singles that made it to #2 on the Billboard Hot 100. Hug them until they feel like a #1 song. Enjoy and Happy Madonna Friday!!!!




Material Girl (1985)
Causing A Commotion (1987)
Express Yourself (1989)
Cherish (1989)
I'll Remember (1994)
Frozen (1998)

MADONNA AND KATY PERRY GET SEXY IN V MAGAZINE....TOGETHER!!

Well, well, well. It seems Katy Perry is briefly coming out of her "I think I'm funny" phase with the Queen of Sexy holding the leash. Madonna and Katy Perry posed with photographer Steven Klein for a series of photos to be released in V Magazine Summer of 2014 issue, coming out memorial day. Dressed in all black, simulating S&M and sporting matching Betty Page looks, Madge and Katy are looking spectacular and sexy as hell. Madonna seemed to tolerate Katy pretty well, telling her in the interview, "I really enjoyed working with you on the photo shoot," Madonna told Perry. "People always expect when two divas get together that there might be weird vibes or a strange competitiveness, but this was nice and easy and fun." Good to know. If Madonna is okay with Katy, so am I! Of course, Madonna is no stranger to controversy. The super hot 55-year-old recently posed topless for L’Uomo Vogue, and it's AMAZING!! Click HERE for that image. Anyhooo, ere is the cover and one inside photo for you to fap to plus a couple of teasers from V Magazine's Instragram. Love!!!!

DRAG RACE'S ADORE DELANO RELEASES DEBUT SINGLE, DTF, AND IT'S AMAZING

WHAT!!???!!! YAAAAAAS! I love Adore Delano, the unofficial runner-up of this season of RuPaul's Drag Race, and this pretty much cements it. Girl has gone and released a straight up hip-hop jam. Unlike most Drag Race alum, Adore didn't go the EDM path and release an easy club song, Adore goes hard core with DTF. If you don't know what DTF means, you can click here. Fair warning, it's dirty. Heehee. This video is also trash-tastic. She makes Kesha look like Taylor Swift, y'all!! The hair, the trashy naked guy, the pregnant homegirl; it all works. It's really great to see a queen put out something different and individual. Of course, Adore was in the Top 16 of the seventh season of American Idol (as Danny Noriega), so she can actually sing. That helps. Anyway, enjoy the white trash anthem DTF. And in the immortal words of Adore herself, "PARTY!" Adore's debut album, Till Death Do Us Party, comes out June 3rd!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHER!!

GAY HOLIDAY!!! The beloved, magnificent, glorious, talented, funny, genius goddess Cher is 68 today!!! I just saw Cher here in NYC on the 9th and she was absolutely every-fucking-thing!! I mean, you cannot keep a good diva down. Did you know that Cher is the only artist to date to have a number-one single on a Billboard chart in each of the past SIX DECADES??? GIRL! No signs of stopping, Cher even talked about her next tour during her show. She was spectacular, y'all! I uploaded a very short little clip of her floating above her fans HERE that you can take a look at. Cher has won an Academy Award, a Grammy Award, an Emmy Award, three Golden Globe Awards, and the Best Actress Award at the Cannes Film Festival, among several other honors. Without a doubt, Cher is one of the successful entertainers of all time, loved by generations of music and movie lovers. She's a living legend. Here are some of my favorite Cher songs and some movie clips. YAY!! Happy birthday, Cher!!!

MADONNA FRIDAY: ALL OF MADONNA'S #1 SONGS

OOOOOOOHHHHH!!! GOOD ONE!! I thought I'd do something fun this Friday and give you ALL of Madonna's #1 singles in one post. That's right, all twelve at one time: Like A Virgin, Crazy For You, Live To Tell, Papa Don't Preach, Open Your Heart, Who's That Girl, Like a Prayer, Vogue, Justify My Love, This Used To Be My Playground, Take a Bow and Music. Has there ever been a more lovely grouping of songs? Which is your favorite #1 Madonna single? Which is your LEAST favorite? I'd say my favorite #1 is Vogue and my least fave is Who's That Girl. Still love them all though! So far, twelve #1 songs on the Hot 100. Not bad, but let's get a number thirteen with her upcoming album, okay? Try not to get too excited......or at least put a towel down.

Like A Virgin (December 22, 1984 -February 5)

Crazy For You (May 11, 1985 - May 17, 1985)
Live To Tell (June 7, 1986 - June 13, 1986)
Papa Don't Preach (August 16, 1986 - August 29, 1986)
Open Your Heart (February 7, 1987 - February 13, 1987)
Who's That Girl (August 22, 1987 - August 28, 1987)
Like A Prayer (April 22, 1989 - May 5, 1989)
Vogue (May 19, 1990 - June 1, 1990)
Justify My Love (January 5, 1991 - January 11, 1991)
This Used To Be My Playground (August 8, 1992 - August 14, 1992)
Take A Bow (February 25, 1995 - April 7, 1995)
Music (September 16, 2000 - October 6, 2000)

RuPAUL'S DRAG RACE FINALIST COURTNEY ACT RELEASES NEW VIDEO: MEAN GAYS

Current finalist and second runner-up on RuPaul's Drag Race, Courtney Act, has released a single and music video that is HILARIOUS!!! Mean Gays, which the Aussie starlet performed a snippet of on the stand-up challenge during Season 6, gets a club-thump-bump-up (that's catchy, if I do say so myself) and sassy-ass video treatment with cameos by Season 6's winner Bianca Del Rio and runner-up Adore Delano. I have to say I am pretty impressed. I have been slightly bored by Courtney all season, although I think she is GORGEOUS. Ru called it out earlier on, she was resting on pretty. This shows that she has a wicked sense of humor, so good on her. Don't forget, RuPaul is crowning America's Next Drag Superstar this coming Monday, the 19th, on Logo at 10 PM!!

STEVIE NICKS READIES NEW ALBUM OF UNRELEASED MUSIC, 24 KARAT GOLD

YAAAAAS! I am obsessed with Stevie Nicks. From her Fleetwood Mac days through her witchy solo career, Stevie, 65, has never failed to cast her spell over her fans. Now Stevie, who was recently honored with a BMI Icon Award for her legendary songwriting, announced that she is mining old songs from her storied career that have never appeared on any of her albums, rerecording them and releasing them together on her upcoming album titled 24 Karat Gold: Songs From the Vault. Yes, push!!! The song 24 Karat Gold, that has been available in its demo form, on YouTube for quite a while will presumably be on said album, and I posted it below. The album will be produced by Eurythmics' Dave Stewart, who produced Nicks' last album, In Your Dreams, and long-time collaborator Waddy Wachtel. Look for 24 Karat Gold sometime in October if all goes as planned. CAN'T WAIT!! Stevie Nicks is EVERYTHING!

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: DIM ALL THE LIGHTS - DONNA SUMMER

One of the sexiest songs of all time, Donna Summer originally wrote Dim All The Lights for none other than Rod Stewart! At the last minute she changed her mind and decided to record it herself, eventually reaching #2 on the Hot 100 in late 1979. Dim All The Lights, from her massively successful Bad Girls album, is the only hit single that Summer had written all by herself. The song starts off with a sexy, slow groove and eventually leads into a sustained, heavenly high note (the longest held note, at 16 seconds, by a female artist in Top 40 history) and a disco groove. DATL has its share of risque lyrics as well, like in the bridge, "Do what you want. You can use me all up. Take me bottom to top. Don't leave even one drop. No, no, no. Do it tonight. You know the moments so right. Turn my brown body white. Come on dim all the lights." You little vixen!! For sure one of the sexiest songs of Donna's career, and that is saying something, and one of the sexiest songs to ever hit the Hot 100, here is Dim All The Lights. Hump a victrola.

THE #1 SONG 23 YEARS AGO TODAY WAS......

......Joyride by Roxette. Roxette are my second favorite Swedish pop act of all time, after ABBA, of course. TAKE THAT, ACE OF BASE!! Joyride was the first single from their third album of the same name and it established them as one of the biggest hit-making machines of the late 80s/early 90s. Joyride is a playful, upbeat song based partly on a note that band member Per Gessle received from his girlfriend that said, "Hello, you fool. I love you." Inspiration can come from anywhere, y'all! Joyride rode to the top of the Billboard Hot 100 on May 11, 1991 and stayed there for one week. It left skid marks on my heart though, so I am bringing it to you today, 23 years later. Enjoy the #1 song this week in 1991, Joyride by Roxette. Oh, and Per's hair is NAILING IT in this video. No T, no shade.

NEW RUPAUL VIDEO: SISSY THAT WALK

GURL!!!! Mamma Ru is serving it UP on her new track Sissy That Walk, with a little help from the top 4 of Season 6 of RuPaul's Drag Race. Sissy That Walk is the second video released from her new album Born Naked, which is her highest charting album EVER on the Billboard 200 album chart (#85) and her first album to chart since her 1993 debut, Supermodel of the World (#109). As she says in the song, "My pu**y is on fire, now kiss the flame" INDEED! By the way, is it impossible to talk about Ru without slipping into your drag voice? Is it just me? Okay, here is Ru with backup from Bianca Del Rio, Adore Delano, Courtney Act and the just eliminated Darienne Lake with my new personal anthem, Sissy That Walk. Don't forget, the next drag superstar will be crowned on RuPaul's Drag Race next Monday at 10 PM on LOGO!!

HAPPY MONDAY SONG: WATERLOO - ABBA

Almost every ABBA song makes me deliriously happy, but Waterloo may make me smile the widest of all!! Waterloo was ABBA's first worldwide hit and the winner of the 1974 Eurovision Song Contest. Of course, the title comes from the lyrics describing a girl surrendering to romance, like Napoleon surrendering at the Battle of Waterloo. Cute. Undeniably catchy, Waterloo hit the charts all over the world, topping the chart in the UK and reaching #6 here in the US. It has sold over 6 million copies and is one of the best selling singles of all time. In 2005 it was voted the best song in the 50 year history of the Eurovision Song Contest. Suck on that, whoever else has ever won. (I have no idea) Anyway, I dare you not to smile and dance around while listening to Waterloo, by ABBA, your Happy Monday Song!

MADONNA FRIDAY: CHER THROWING SHADE AT MADONNA OVER THE YEARS

I'M SEEING CHER TONIGHT!!!! I'm so excited I could burst a facelift seam! In celebration of Cher and Madonna Friday, here are some clips of Cher talking about Madonna on various talk shows over the years. The two used to have beef, but now they are fine. We can't have two of our biggest pop divas fighting, now can we? Love them both. Check it out below! By the way, Cyndi Lauper is opening for Cher, so it is ON!!

A FEW SONGS ABOUT RAIN ON A RAINY DAY

It's raining and 54 degrees in NYC today so I thought I'd serve up some wet weather realness and give you my favorite songs about rain! That way I won't miss the warm Spring weather we've been having and go on a murderous rampage around town. Yay!! Here are some wet ones from Eurythmics (Here Comes the Rain Again, #4 1984), New Edition (Can You Stand The Rain, #44 1988), Billy Myers (Kiss the Rain, #15 1997), Belinda Carlisle (Summer Rain, #30 1990) and Phil Collins (I Wish It Would Rain Down, #3 1990). And yes, I am purposefully leaving out Rain by Madonna because it's been on my blog a bajiliondy times.

NEW LANA DEL REY VIDEO: WEST COAST

Ever since debuting her new track, West Coast, people have been going ape-shit over Lana Del Rey's new sound. I agree, it's amazing. Now comes the black and white video, full of shots of Lana on the beach, in a car with a sugar daddy and crooning the dreamy song. Good stuff!! It's all very 70s California. Watch below and get West Coast now on iTunes. Lana's new album, Ultraviolence, is due next month.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: MY LOVE IS FOR REAL - PAULA ABDUL

Paula Abdul knows how to turn on the sexy when she needs to, and in her attempted 1995 comeback, she nailed it. Although My Love Is For Real didn't exactly blow up the charts (#28 US) it did prove that Paula could still bring the heat. She DID have Crystal's heat. With a little help from Israeli singer Ofra Haza, Adbul treated us to a full-on Lawrence of Arabia inspired video in which she was the head ho in a harem. Werq! As usual, Paula's choreography is stellar and sexy as all hell. So here is your Humpday Sexy Song, My Love Is For Real.

NEW VIDEO: CHANDELIER - SIA

The official director's cut for Chandelier directed by Sia and Daniel Askill, featuring Maddie Ziegler of Dance Moms. Not that this changes my mind that Dance Moms is among the most evil of shows ever to be on television, but this little lady is turning it O-U-T! Chandelier is available on iTunes. Sia's next album, 1000 Forms of Fear is due in June. Watch.

THE #1 SONG 28 YEARS AGO TODAY WAS.....

.....Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer. The video that launched a thousand carbon-copy videos. Robert Palmer had been around for a while by this week in 1986, but Addicted to Love was his first and only #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. The third single from his album Riptide, Addicted hit the top of the Hot 100 on May 3, 1986 and stayed for one week, being replaced by Pet Shop Boys' West End Girls, but the music video's concept (the dead-behind-the-eye rhythm-challenged model zombies in heavy makeup) would go on to spawn several videos for Palmer himself and many, many takes on the concept by other artists, most recently Ingrid Michaelson's Girls Chase Boys, but in my opinion the best is Shania Twain's Man! I Feel Like A Woman. That's just my two cents. Take it or TAKE IT! Anyway, the song and video are both iconic and Addicted to Love remained Palmer's signature song until his untimely death in 2003 of a heart attack. I'm sure he's dancing with models somewhere now. Enjoy the #1 song from this day in 1986 and sway along awkwardly to the music.

REVIEW: LILY ALLEN - SHEEZUS

Lily Allen has two full length albums under her belt; 2006's Alright Still and 2009's It's No Me, It's You. Though the sound changes, one thing remains: Lily's biting wit and clever lyrics. Allen's newest effort, Sheezus, does not disappoint on that front. Instead of the retro-kitsch of her debut or the electronic-influenced follow up, this time Lily delivers a (mostly) hip-hop inspired album (thus the name riffing on Kanye's Yeezus) full of shimmering gems just in time for summer. Of course, we have had plenty of build up with the release of the hard-hitting satire on Hard Out Here last November and the airy charm of Air Balloon in January, both of which hit the top 10 in her native UK. As bright and fun as those two singles are, they are just the tip of the iceberg on Sheezus. Insincerely Yours in particular is a standout track with it's sort-of-sampling of Michael McDonald's I Keep Forgetting (it doesn't, but does it?) the biting lyrics are all sass and stank. "Let's be clear, I'm here to make money, money, money" Lily croons over the smooth beat. L8 CMMR, which was featured on the Girls soundtrack this season, is probably the most romantic, happy song to ever contain the words "motherfucker" and is my favorite track on the album. Sheezus is not ALL hip hop though, much like the country-tinged It's Not Fair on It's Not Me, It's You, As Long as I Got You swerves off the theme of the music and delivers a zydeco number with aplomb. Lily's softer side comes out as well on tracks like the pensive Take My Place, the sexy Close Your Eyes and Life For Me. But of course, it being Lily, the album still has the brutal Hard Out Here and the fuck you of Wind Your Neck In to remind us of the amazingly sarcastic social commentary that Lils does so well. Sheezus delivers on everything you expect from a Lily Allen album and then some. The maturity of a mother is new on this album and Lily has grown lyrically and musically from her 2009 self. Enjoy the vids below! Sheezus is available on iTunes today.

MADONNA FRIDAY: MY RANKING OF ALL 65 OF MADONNA'S U.S. SINGLES

And do you NEED any other ranking? Here is my (current) ranking of all of Madonna's singles released in the United States to date. This order could change in the future according to mood, hunger, fever and because I damn well feel like it. Now this is JUST singles released in the US, so Into the Groove, Gambler, Dear Jesse, The Look of Love, Spotlight, Fever, Bye Bye Baby, One More Chance, Another Suitcase in Another Hall, Drowned World (Substitute For Love), Revolver and Masterpiece are NOT, I repeat, NOT eligible for this list. Madonna has released a total of 65 singles here in the US and I took my sweet-ass time to put them in order for you, so take your sweet-ass time and agree with me on every single one. Ha! JK!! Any true Madonna fan will take issue with my list, just as I have with all the (SOOO wrong) ones that I have seen. That's why we are Madonna fans; we express ourselves. See what I did there? I'm aware that my top two, in particular, are probably pretty controversial for Madonna fans, but I can't help it!! THEY'RE MY FAVES!!! Take a look below, click on links and watch a couple of videos. Happy Madonna Friday!!!

65. American Pie (The Next Best Thing Soundtrack)
64. Hollywood (American Life)
63. Give It 2 Me (Hard Candy)
62. You Must Love Me (Evita Soundtrack)
61. Sorry (Confessions On A Dance Floor)
60. Give Me All Your Luvin' (MDNA)
59. Don't Cry For Me Argentina (Evita Soundtrack)
58. Love Don't Live Here Anymore (Something To Remember)
57. Miles Away (Hard Candy)
56. Turn Up The Radio (MDNA)
55. Take A Bow (Bedtime Stories)
54. Bedtime Story (Bedtime Stories)
53. Love Profusion (American Life)
52. Die Another Day (American Life)
51. The Power of Goodbye (Ray of Light)
50. Hanky Panky (I'm Breathless)
49. Who's That Girl (Who's That Girl)
48. Everybody (Madonna)
47. Human Nature (Bedtime Stories)
46. Nothing Really Matters (Ray of Light)
45. Burning Up (Madonna)
44. Celebration (Celebration)
43. 4 Minutes (ft. Justin Timberlake) (Hard Candy)
42. Borderline (Madonna)
41. Ray of Light (Ray of Light)
40. Rescue Me (The Immaculate Collection)
39. Dress You Up (Like A Virgin)
38. Keep It Together (Like A Prayer)
37. Deeper and Deeper (Erotica)
36. What It Feels Like For A Girl (Music)
35. Music (Music)
34. You'll See (Something To Remember)
33. I'll Remember (With Honors Soundtrack)
32. Erotica (Erotica)
31. La Isla Bonita (True Blue)
30. Girl Gone Wild (MDNA)
29. Nothing Fails (American Life)
28. Holiday (Madonna)
27. Beautiful Stranger (Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me)
26. Frozen (Ray Of Light)
25. Material Girl (Like A Virgin)
24. Hung Up (Confessions On A Dance Floor)
23. American Life (American Life)
22. Justify My Love (The Immaculate Collection)
21. Cherish (Like A Prayer)
20. True Blue (True Blue)
19. Secret (Bedtime Stories)
18. This Used To Be My Playground (Non-album single)
17. Don't Tell Me (Music)
16, Get Together (Confessions On A Dance Floor)
15. Crazy For You (Vision Quest Soundtrack)
14. Angel (Like A Virgin)
13. Lucky Star (Madonna)
12. Oh Father (Like A Prayer)
11. Like A Prayer (Like A Prayer)
10. Causing A Commotion (Who's That Girl)
9. Like A Virgin (Like A Virgin)
8. Papa Don't Preach (True Blue)
7. Live to Tell (True Blue)
6. Bad Girl (Erotica)
5. Open Your Heart (True Blue)
4. Express Yourself (Like A Prayer)
3.Vogue (I'm Breathless)
2. Rain (Erotica)
1. Jump (Confessions of a Dance Floor)

MARIAH ANNOUNCES RELEASE DATE AND TITLE FOR NEXT ALBUM. MAKES ME REGRET LEARNING TO READ.

Seriously? Here is a video of Mariah Carey doing some sort of creepy layered whispering, laughing dialogue thingy while explaining that the name of her new album, out May 27th after a year-long delay is....are you ready for this? Me. I am Mariah......The Elusive Chanteuse. Oh lawd!! I mean, the only thing worse than that title is the full body "picture" on the cover of the album (the one posted here). I put picture in quotes because they are trying to pass this oil painting off as a photo. Her body looks about as much like that as mine does. Mariah explains that this mess-of-a-title is inspired by writing on a self-portrait she made when she was three-and-a-half. Well, I'm sure I pissed my pants at some point when I was three-and-a-half, but I ain't gonna slap those underoos on an album cover and call it a day. Get out! Let's hope the music is good. Anyway, if you are eager to abuse your ears and eyes, watch the video below. I can't.

THROWBACK THURSDAY: SAMANTHA FOX

S-S-S-S-Samantha Fox! Back in the 80s the busty British singer hit the charts with some great pop songs including Touch Me (I Want Your Body) (#3 UK, #4 US), Nothing's Gonna Stop Me Now (#8 UK), I Wanna Have Some Fun (#8 US), Naughty Girls (Need Love Too) (#3 US) and I Only Wanna Be With You (#16 UK, #31 US). Known as much for her ample bosom as her singing, Samantha started off "modeling" when her mother sent in some shots she took of a then 16-year-old Fox in lingerie. Wow! Is her mother Kris Jenner? That lead to Sam doing some "Glamour modeling", a.k.a. topless modeling, which again her parents gave consent to, for the UK paper The Sun as their Page 3 Girl. As a matter of fact, she was The Sun's Page 3 Girl of the Year for three consecutive years. Those tits come in handy, y'all!! Once her record deal started, Samantha did manage to chart in several countries around the world with some pop rock and even some hip-hop songs, racking up three US top tens, and is still making the rounds today and looking pretty good doing it. Hits and Tits, what else do you need? Check out some of her biggest tits hits below and enjoy Samantha Fox!