HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: I'M A SLAVE 4 U - BRITNEY SPEARS

Oh, Britney! You saucy little bitch. Britney was sick of the teen-queen image back in 2001, so she did what any sensible pop starlet does....she slutted it up!! Not that Britney hadn't already shown some skin before, but her music, in general, was on the safe side. I'm a Slave 4 U, written and produced by Chad Hugo and Pharrell Williams a.k.a. The Neptunes, was full-on sex kitten material and Britney cooed her way to one of her sexiest hits. The song is accompanied by the perfect video. Taking place in a sauna/dance club, Britney dances her ass off, gets licked by a male dancer and teases about every boy and girl in the place. It was a shift in her career and easily one of her best singles of ....... ever. Don't you miss this Britney? THOSE ABS! Anyway, watch the video below and be a slave to her. Hump away, m'friends. Hump away. FUN FACT: I'm A Slave 4 U was written for Janet Jackson and intended for her album All For You. Her loss, Brit's gain.
)

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: DIRRTY - CHRISTINA AGUILERA

When Christina Aguilera released Dirrty (that's with two Rs, thank you) in 2002 everybody went ape-shit crazy. What happened to that little Disney princess with the angel voice? Well, I'll tell you: She grew up, got her some gays and they whored her up real nice. WOOT!! The all new, all slutty, all the TIME "Xtina" (as she would come to be called) was ready to shed that good girl image and show us how she can shake her man-hungry poontrap. Oh, Xtina, you never looked back. The video was especially shocking. Directed by the amazing David LaChapelle, it included a cast of wacky characters, sexy dancers, a lot of not-very-sanitary-looking water and a half naked Xtina bumping and grinding her way to infamy. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!! It is one of the, if not THE most shocking transformations I have witnessed in modern day pop music. You gotta give the girl some credit; she's got balls. The song is about as sexy as you can get and, whether you like it or not, sex became a part of Xtina's career for good. So here is the demure then-21-year-old Christina Aguilera's 2002 hit Dirrty. Enjoy and hump the nearest thing you can find.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: LITA FORD

Lita Ford is a hot rocking mama. She began as a member of the all-girl seminal rock band The Runaways, along with Joan Jett, in the 70s and had solo success in the 80s with her glam-metal music and her pinup girl looks. Lita is no femme fatale. She is a very well respected guitarist, garnering recognition from many guitar and music magazines, and had a no-holds-barred attitude toward having it her way in the music biz. I'd say she's a pretty good example for all these younger chicks out there now. Anyway, here are Lita's sexy Humpday Sexy Song, Kiss Me Deadly. Try not to get too excited and hump a guitar in public. Rock!

Lita Ford - Kiss Me Deadly by soulsurvivor25

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: KATY PERRY - TEENAGE DREAM

Aside from the fact that this is Katy's sexiest song, it was also one of my wedding songs, so needless to say, Teenage Dream is a sex-fest!! Ha. The euphoric song perfectly captures that feeling of excitement (and horniness) you had when you met that first boy/girl you fell for. The song was the second single and second #1 song from Katy's massive Teenage Dream album and spent two weeks at the top in September of 2010. The bridge of this song, "I can get your heart racing in my skin tight jeans..." gives me L-I-F-E!!!! And Josh Kloss, the guy in the video, gives my pants life. Now listen and go out, find your first teenage love and hump him/her....with consent of course. Here is Teenage Dream.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: I WANT YOU - MADONNA (FT. MASSIVE ATTACK)

Madonna was approached by Massive Attack to record a cover of the Marvin Gaye classic I Want You for the Gaye tribute album Inner City Blues at the suggestion of producer Nellee Hooper who had just worked with Madonna on her Bedtime Stories album. Madonna recorded her vocals in New York and Massive Attack produced the song. Originally intended to be released as a single, Motown, Gaye's label, and Madonna's record label could not come to an agreement, so I Want You was never officially released as a single. It did, however, appear on Madonna's compilation album Something To Remember and the video she made for it, inspired by the Dorothy Parker story A Telephone Call, was played heavily on VH1 and MTV. A lush, orchestrated version appears on Something To Remember as well as this absolutely gorgeous, trip-hop version. This is truly one of Madonna's sexiest, best vocal performances IMO. Here is I Want You. Hump a Gaye.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: RIO - DURAN DURAN

One of the sexiest videos/songs to come out of the 80s, Duran Duran were video superstars already by the time Rio came out. In a very short time, the Brits were able to establish themselves in the medium with striking videos like Girls On Film, Planet Earth and Hungry Like the Wolf. Rio upped the ante by taking it to the beach, adding models and putting frontman Simon Le Bon in a teenie-weenie speedo. YAAAAS, QUEEN!! The result is slick, sleek and sexy as hell and epitomized 80s glamour. Enjoy the even objectification of women and Simon's package with today's Humpaday Sexy Song, Rio.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: EURYTHMICS - I NEED A MAN

Damn, Annie Lennox can sing!! Back in 1988 Eurythmics were going through their rock and roll resurgence and I Need A Man, from their album Savage, allowed Annie to prowl, growl and tell it like it is....to VERY sexy effect. One of the most recognizable and favorite videos by Eurythmics, directed by the great Sophie Muller, finds Lennox in full sex mode; blond wig, tight dress and tipsy dancing. HOT!! Now, I don't need a man, cuz I'm married, you pervert!! But you might, so here is your Humpday sexy song to dance around to this afternoon. Drink some wine and slur along, sluts! Enjoy and you're welcome, sexy people!

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: LADY GAGA - ALEJANDRO

I mean......this video is Gaga's sexiest and one of the all-time great pop works of art. By the time Gaga released Alejandro as the third single form her EP The Fame Monster she had already set the bar impossibly high. Every video before it was extraordinary and I personally didn't think she could top them. She did. the  8+ minute video for Alejandro is epic. The choreography, the costumes, the story line, the controversial religious/military imagery all come together to create a very, very sexy video and Lady Gaga has never looked better. THAT BODY!! And let's not forget all the half naked boys dancing in heels. COME ON!!!! Without a doubt I believe this is Gaga's hottest effort to date. So hunker down, swallow your rosary and hump the nearest military guy you can get your hands on, because here is Alejandro.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY/HUMPDAY: CHER IS 69 TODAY!

Is it possible? Is Cher really 69....and on a Humpday? Ha!!! Priceless. All of us gay boys have surely made out or at least sexy danced in a club to our fair share of Cher tunes, so it's fitting that the iconic goddess turns 69 today, letting us celebrate Humpday with some of her sexiest hits. Cher is not only one of the most successful and legendary performers in music, film and television, she helped many a young man, both gay and straight, come to terms with their own sexuality. Whether through her low cut Bob Mackie gowns and barely-there costumes or living vicariously through her penchant for younger men, Cher has given us all a little taste of the sexual revolution she lived through. Here are some of Cher's sexiest hits from across her remarkable SIX DECADE career. This bitch is still kicking it, y'all. All hail Cher!!!! Happy Humpday!!

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: HUNGRY LIKE THE WOLF - DURAN DURAN

Duran Duran is one of the sexiest bands of all time....and one of the most enduring and successful as well. When these Brits hit the States in the early 80s it was mayhem. Girls (and boys) went wild for their slick videos, catchy songs and matinee idol good looks. Hungry Like The Wolf, released in late 1982 and peeking at #3 on the Hot 100, is certainly one of the best know New Wave tracks of the 80s and one of Duran Duran's signature songs. Sexy, sweaty, and animalistic as fuck, the song is matched by the video with shots of the jungle and some hot lady wrestling action, all shot in Sri Lanka. The video one the very first Grammy for Short Form Music Video in 1984. If you listen at the end you can hear the sounds of a woman....well....let's say "having some fun" buried underneath the track. This...ahem...vocalization is much louder on the actual album. I can see why they toned it down for early 80s radio and MTV. Ha. Anyway, her is the über-sexy video for Hungry Like The Wolf by Duran Duran. Hump in the jungle today!!

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: KYLIE MINOGUE - RED BLOODED WOMAN

Kylie is a sex machine! On top of being one of the most successful artists in music history, Kylie is also a top notch, Grade A sexy symbol for the ages. Here 2004 single Red Blooded Woman is proof positive that she can drive the boys (and girls) W-I-L-D! Incorporating elements of hip-hop into a synth groove, RBW took Kylie into an urban groove that melted hearts and tented pants all over the globe. Check her out getting sexy all over the freeway in the video below. Happy Humpday!! Go hump in a truck.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: BRITNEY SPEARS - 3

It's a sexy song and the number Brit can count to! I kid!! I love me some Britney Spears. Never one to shy away from the sexy, Britney went full orgy on her 2009 single 3. Referencing those gods of sex Peter, Paul and Mary (WHAT?) Britney coos her way through a plea to "me, you and he" and writhes around in a sexy video until we are all ready to pop! The song hit #1 on the Hot 100 and gave all those adventurous people out there a theme song to listen to while they put an extra set of genitals in their bed. FUN FACT: In this video ABOUT THREESOMES they actually edit out the word "sin" during the "living in sin is the new thing" and replace it with "this". Huh? I guess the Biblebangers don't mind a little group play as long as you don't call it a sin. Ha! Anyhoozers, try not to hump the nearest couple to you while listening to the Humpday Sexy Song, 3.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: TOVE LO - TALKING BODY

Tove Lo is the tits!!! Her album, Queen of the Clouds, is so good it makes me want to pull my eyes out. That's good, y'all! The second single released from her debut album is the amazingly hump-tastic Talking Body. Why in the world this cut isn't tearing up the charts is beyond me (it's currently #37, inching up the charts). This sexy track from the sassy Swede has everything you'd want: smart lyrics, irony and the word "fuck" as many times as you want to say it!! "If you love me right we fuck for life" is one of my favorite lyrics in I don't know how long. GIRL!! The video is a minimalist fantasy that takes Tove through the course of a day with her perfect lover, only to run a game on him at the end. Take a look at the slightly NSFW clip below and feel like a sexy beast today. Hump something Swedish.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG/#1 SONG 5 YEARS AGO TODAY: RUDE BOY - RIHANNA

Rihanna is no stranger to being sexy. I mean, this girl has been naked on a red carpet more times than I have in my bathroom. She's also had a number of very, very sexy songs. Rude Boy, from her best and most underrated album Rated R, is a brazen, forward call to a bad boy to "get it up" and give her what she wants. I bet he does too. It hit #1 on the Hot 100 on March 27, 2010 and stayed at the pole position for five consecutive weeks. That rude boy had staying power, girl. Ouch. Anyway, here is the Humpday Sexy Song for this April Fool's Day and the #1 song from five years ago today, Rihanna's Rude Boy.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: STYLE - TAYLOR SWIFT

We don't get to see Taylor Swift's sexy side too often, so this is a real treat!! It must be what all those men see from her in private before she dumps their asses. Here is the latest single off of Swift's massively successful album 1989, Style. Written by Taylor, Max Martin, Ali Payami and Shellback, the brooding number and it's gorgeous video are currently sitting at #6 on the Hot 100. I wonder if it will become Taylor's third #1 from 1989? Wait and see. Until then, hump your best outfit and listen to today's Humpday Sexy Song, Taylor Swift's Style.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: HOLY WATER - MADONNA

Madonna has one of her sexiest, dirtiest songs of recent memory on her new album Rebel Heart. Co-written by the newly-repugnant Natalia Kills, Holy Water, your Humpday Sexy song today, is a trash delight and a perfect update of her Erotica era songs like Erotica and Where All Life Begins. Holy Water is a dance track and is basically about Madonna's -- well, you know -- tasting like holy water. "Yeezus love my p***y best" pretty much sums it up. There is even a call out to Vogue that will have you squealing with joy, girl!! Make sure you're sitting down and don't have to walk anywhere in the office for a few minutes. SHWING! Pick up Rebel Heart on iTunes if you  have not yet. It's her best album since Confessions On A Dance Floor and she is in fine form. Check out the sexy Holy Water, with lyrics in the video, below and hump a priest today, if he doesn't hump you first.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: BREATHE - KYLIE MINOGUE

Kylie has a bottomless (no pun intended) well of sexy songs to hump to, but today we concentrate on one, Breathe. Released in 1998 from her album Impossible Princess, Breathe was a huge success on the charts, but critically it is considered a highlight of this experimental phase that she went through in the late 90s. It's quiet sexiness is perfect for Kylie's girlish purr and the video is simple, sensual and all Kylie. Here is today's Humpday Sexy Song, Breathe by Kylie Minogue.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: APOLLONIA 6 - SEX SHOOTER

The only thing I love more than one slutty girl singer is THREE slutty girl singers. Apollonia 6 was born out of a previous incarnation of Prince's brainchild Vanity 6. Once Vanity bailed on the group, Prince recast the lead to play his love interest in the movie Purple Rain, finding Patricia Kotero after a nationwide search. He rechristened her Apollonia, threw her in front of existing members Brenda Bennett and Susan Moonsie and VOILA, Apollonia 6 was born. The "6" allegedly stands for the number of breasts in the group. Early 80's Prince, always keeping it classy. Anyway, based on the Prince's ability to write one helluva catchy tune, Apollonia's charisma, the groups sex appeal and the tremendous success of Purple Rain, the first single, Sex Shooter, from their only album was a hit!! The song went to #85 on the Hot 100, and #7 on both the R&B and Dance Charts in the US. Take that, Vanity! Of course, Apollonia 6 were not long for this world, but their self-titled album and this song alone earn them a place in my heart. Here is today Humpday Sexy Song. Hump a gun!! NO!! DON'T!!! THAT IS TERRIBLE ADVICE!!

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: LANA DEL REY - SHADES OF COOL

Lana Del Rey has a thing for daddies: sugar and otherwise. Here is the video for the second single, Shades of Cool, from last year's Ultraviolence, one of the best albums of 2014. In the video Lana and her father lover are taking in the sights and sounds of their luxurious California life together and things get sexy and intense. The song and the video are gorgeous, as per usual with Del Rey's visual output. Watch and love.

HUMPDAY SEXY SONG: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EMMA BUNTON. FREE ME

It's time to get sexy and today we do it by saying happy bday to Baby Spice herself, Emma Bunton. Baby is 39!!! What? That can't be right!!! (#old) Emma has a particularly sexy single that she released a few years ago that will make you wanna get with her friends (see what I did there?) called Free Me. It's like a James Bond theme on Viagra. Is that redundant? The song was released in 2003 and hit #5 on the UK charts and #4, in remix form, on the US Dance charts. Not too bad, Baby. Anyway, Emma looks particularly fetching in this sexy, beach-themed romp. Check out Free Me below and hump your favorite spice today. From your cabinet, not one of the girls, you savage.