MADONNA FRIDAY: BECAUSE I'M SEEING HER NEXT WEEK, ALL 'REBEL HEART' VIDEOS SO FAR

I'M SEEING MADONNA IN CONCERT NEXT WEEK. AND AMY FUCKING SCHUMER IS OPENING FOR HER!!!!! I can't. I simply CANNOT!!!! Anyway, in celebration of that fact, here are the three videos Madge has released from her amazing Rebel Heart album all in one place for you to fap to for the rest of the day. I am so excited about this concert I could kill everyone in my office. But I won't. Enjoy. Happy Madonna Friday!

REVIEW: MADONNA - REBEL HEART (DELUXE EDITION)

IT'S HERE!!! The best day of the year and it's only March!! Madonna's full release (excuse me?) of Rebel Heart (oh) is out TODAY!!! I have already reviewed the first nine songs since those horrible hackers forced the Queen into releasing them early because of their insipid leaks. Read those first and then dive into the realness below. (REVIEW #1 and REVIEW #2). These songs will show that, for inspiration, Madonna need not look any further than her own work. Kicking off the newly released songs is the track that sounds like what would have happened if Madonna had those rumored songwriting sessions with Adele, HeartBreakCity. A lovely ballad with a gorgeous melody, it fits very nicely into the cannon of Madonna's slow songs. Body Shop is an ode to a lover that is trusted to turn our Lady out. With plenty of metaphors (tighten up the suspension, you don't have to ask it), this mid-tempo burner is easy-going, pretty and sassy. Holy Water, co-written by (among others) Natalia Kills, is a dance floor workout. Thinly veiled lyrics about cunnilingus (Don't it taste like holy water?) Madonna takes you back to those naughty Erotica days, professing that "Yeezus love my p***y best". Oh, my!!! There is also a surprise call out to Vogue that makes my toes curl. YAAAS!! Definitely a standout track and I'm sure will be all over the clubs this summer. Inside Out is a dark, beautiful song about an intense relationship. How is this not in 50 Shades of Grey? Maybe it is. I haven't seen it. Anyway, the song is a pulsating, sexy joyride. Madonna's vocals on the lovely Wash All Over Me are some of the clearest on the album. The ballad is about surrender and letting life take you sometimes. Gorgeous and epic. Another sexy romp starts with Best Night, a come-hither number with shades of Indian influence. This is some baby-making (or baby-wasting,depending on your orientation) music here that even references Madonna's sexiest hit ever, Justify My Love. Veni Vidi Vici (ft. Nas) starts with a rap by Madge talking about her past, (and when I struck a pose, all the gay boys lost their minds) referencing many of her hits over the years. She talks about her rise and how she forged her way to success, "I came. I saw. I conquered" she repeats over the chorus. S.E.X. is one of the songs that I'm sure will bring an avalanche of ageist comments from the mindless masses, but to me it's nice to see a woman OF ANY AGE expressing her sexuality. As long as I'm not related to her. Ha! Madonna has never shied away from the subject and Rebel Heart is no exception (I'm an open door. Let you come inside of me). You boys will love this. Messiah is all grandeur and regal. It's another epic ballad with lovelorn lyrics and a gorgeous melody. Closing the (deluxe version) of the album is its title track. Rebel Heart is an ode to all not just Madonna's endurance, but to any visionary who has always felt different and refused to not change. Those who fought through "tough love" and were finally able to say what they wanted to say. You can say it's exactly what Madonna, the undisputed female pop icon of the modern music era, has done from the very beginning of her storied career. Rebel Heart is an eclectic, yet cohesive, album of some of the most focused and finest music Madonna has released since Confessions On A Dance Floor. An epic journey of an artist in her third decade of super-stardom who refuses to idle. An exciting trip down memory lane, into the present and looking firmly forward.
MUST HAVE TRACKS: Ghosstown, Unapologetic Bitch, Illuminati, Hold Tight, Holy Water, Wash All Over Me.

MADONNA RELEASES 3 NEW SONGS FROM REBEL HEART + HER GRAMMY PERFORMANCE

Following her royal performance of Living For Love on the Grammys last night (see below) Madonna gave yet again to her loyal subjects and released three additional songs from her upcoming album Rebel Heart. The anthemic and melodic Hold Tight has a driving beat and a soft delivery from Madonna. It's about holding on to the people/person who is always there to support you. Joan of Arc finds Madonna responding to harsh critics over an acoustic guitar. Sure, it may at first seem like a "poor famous person" song, but what Madonna is talking about is, despite her confident public persona, she too can be hurt by ugly words. "I'm not Joan of Arc, not yet. I'm only human." Iconic features Chance the Rapper and an unlikely spoken word part by Mike Tyson. Might sound pretty random (and maybe it is) but it fits with the come-out-swinging attitude of the hard-hitting track. So we are now nine songs into the nineteen tracks off of Rebel Heart and it sounds like it's turning out to be her most vital and urgent in years. 56 and still nailing it. Watch Living For Love from the Grammys below.

MADONNA FRIDAY: IT'S HERE!!! MADONNA'S NEW VIDEO 'LIVING FOR LOVE'

POSTED!!! Here is the new video for Madonna's single Living For Love.

MADONNA DEBUTS VIDEO FOR 'LIVING FOR LOVE' ON SNAPCHAT

Madonna has become the first major aritst to debut a video on the app Snapchat. Always ahead of the game, Madge premiered the video for Living For Love, the first single form her upcoming album Rebel Heart, yesterday on the social app in the "discovery" section. Now I am NOT going to post a crappy copy someone video'd off of Snapchat for you on here. I have too much respect for The Queen, but other have posted it and it's good, y'all! Madonna takes the role of matador -- Matadorna? I tried -- and wrangles a bunch of shirtless "bulls" around her. The clip is directed by the French duo Julien Choquart and Camille Hirigoyen, also known as J.A.C.K. I'd say the 56-year-old lady is still the sexiest bitch on the block. No word yet on when the video will be available for download, but Rebel Heart is coming March 10th. CAN'T WAIT!!

MADONNA RELEASED MYSTERIOUS 'LIVING FOR LOVE' TEASER VIDEO

Is this a tease of the video for Living For Love, the first single from Rebel Heart, or is this a tease of her upcoming Grammy and BRIT award performances...or all three!!!? Whatever it is, it looks cool. You can hear people cheering on the dancer featured and there is a mirrored effect on the video, so anyone's guess is as good as mine. Anyway, here it is!! Rebel Heart is released in the US on March 10th. The Grammy Awards are this Sunday at 8 PM on CBS and the BRIT Awards are February 25th.

MADONNA ANNOUNCES FULL TRACK LIST FOR REBEL HEART

After giving her fans an early Xmas gift by pre-releasing six songs from Rebel Heart, Madonna today announcd the full track listing of her upcoming album that will be released in March. Here are all 19 songs. Pre-order Rebel Heart now and get the first six tracks immediately. You won't regret it, I promise!!


01. Living For Love
02. Devil Pray
03. Ghosttown
04. Unapologetic Bitch
05. Illuminati
06. Bitch I'm Madonna (ft. Nicki Minaj)
07. Hold Tight
08. Joan of Arc
09. Iconic (ft. Chance The Rapper & Mike Tyson)
10. HeartBreakCity
11. Body Shop
12. Holy Water
13. Inside Out
14. Wash All Over Me
15. Best Night
16. Veni Vedi Vici (ft. Nas)
17. S.E.X.
18. Messiah
19. Rebel Heart

FIVE NEW REMIXES OF MADONNA'S LIVING FOR LOVE

REVIEW: MADONNA - REBEL HEART (SO FAR)

This might come as a great shock, but I'm obsessed with the truncated version that Madonna released of her upcoming album Rebel Heart. The Queen decided that, instead of having people listening to unfinished demos that some asshole leaked, she would just go ahead and release six new songs as an "early Christmas present" much to the delight of us who have been waiting patiently. How do I not oversell this? They are EPIC!!! I seriously love them. Madonna's last two albums, although very good, did seem a little distant in parts. Some say that she allowed the producers to take the lead too much, but listening to these lyrics it sounds like she is pretty passionate about her new album. Oh, and don't even get me started on how flawless the cover art is. I MEAN!!! First song Living For Love (which you can listen to below) is like a mash-up of Like a Prayer's gospel soul sounds and Erotica's 90s club grooves. Very amazing. Produced by Diplo, it's officially the first single released from Rebel Heart. Alicia Keys co-wrote and sings on it, but I won't let that bother me right now. Ha. The six songs released so far show a wide range of content and style. Devil Pray has an acoustic guitar and a haunting, dark melody about where one can REALLY find themselves and get closer to their own spirituality. Hint: it's not through temporary highs. The song is one of two stirring electronic ballads released on this EP, the other being third track Ghosttown. Longingly beautiful, Madonna's voice sounds gorgeous floating over the anthemic strings and soft synth that build to a dramatic climax. The song is about standing by someone no matter what and trying to stay strong in this crazy world we are living in. One of her most beautiful ballads since Nothing Fails on American Life. That's where the softness ends on this version of Rebel Heart. Unapologetic Bitch is a reggae-tinged banger, with co-writing credits going to, among others, Nicki Minaj, that finds Madge telling it exactly how it is. "You know you never really knew how much your selfish bullshit cost me. Well fuck you" is a pretty straight forward lyric I would say. I think it's my fave track so far. Illuminati is produced by Kanye West and def has his stank on it. Madonna's tackles the Illuminati conspiracy that has been going around about people in the entertainment industry for years and basically says that there IS Illuminati, but it's everyone who is enlightened and positive, trying to make the world a better place. It is hard and funky and sparkly all at once. The last song released is Bitch, I'm Madonna (ft. Nicki Minaj). Nicki also has a writing credit on this one and actually appears giving a verse or two. Fun and hard, it's Madonna being Madonna and letting everyone know who is still Queen of Pop. Don't try her, boo. If these six songs are any indication, we have something of an amazing album on the way in March 2015. Bitch, she's Madonna after all. Listen to Living for Love below.