'SCREAM QUEENS' TRAILER LOOKS VERY RYAN MURPHY-ISH

I mean, I'm still going to give this a try. Emma Roberts seems to be playing the same exact role she played on American Horror Story: Coven (which is the only thing she's ever been good in, so....great?) and at least there's no singing....yet.....but there is something very familiar about this trailer for the upcoming Ryan Murphy show Scream Queens. It's like "I Know What You Screamed On Sorority Row Last Halloween". You know? Yeah, you do. Still, Jamie Lee Curtis looks like a tough-ass bitch in it and Lea Michele is wearing a fucking neck brace, so there are two things I want to see. By the way, I'm just going to go ahead and call it right now: I think Lea Michele is the killer. Why on earth would she lower herself to a second-ranked cast member when we know Ryan Murphy loves her? She ends up being the central figure. DUH!!!!! She's going to pop that neck brace off in the third episode, slip on a vagina-baring skirt and probably belt out a tune while murdering some ho. There. I said it. Anyhoozers, here is the first full trailer to Scream Queens, coming in September.

REVIEW: SCREAM 4

SPOILER ALERT!! SPOILER ALERT!! SPOILER ALERT!! IF YOU ARE GOING TO SEE THIS MOVIE, DON'T READ THIS REVIEW!!!!
There, I've done my part. Now, Scream 4. First of all, it's impossible for me, or anyone, to judge this film on it's own. I loved all three of the Scream movies in their original trilogy, so the bar is high. Very high. The franchise literally kick started the modern horror movie genre. So I went into Scream 4 with high hopes. Some were met, most were not. The opening is good. Of course, the original three were famous for their openings, where famous people who aren't supposed to die right away get sliced and diced. This one tricks us with the same type of opening, then another, then another. Clever enough. The thing that I and most people loved about the first Scream was that the young cast was so likable. Even the killers were charasmatic and fun to watch. Many of them rode the wave for years after the movie. The kids in this film are BLAHS-VILLE!!! The one exception, surprisingly, is Hayden Panettiere. I usually can't stand her, but quite honestly, she is the only one with even one ounce of screen presence, the only one who looks like she's ever been filmed before. Emma Roberts, Rory Culkin, Shenae Grimes...they are like watching paint dry. Seriously. Awful. So, it's up to the vets, Neve Campbell, David Arquette and Courteney Cox, to save the day. While Neve is still very much in "Sidney" mode and has some decent enough writing, David and Courteney are given NOTHING!! As a matter of fact, and here is a spoiler for ya, Courtney is not even in a lot of the movie. No, she doesn't get killed, but she is injured and goes to the hospital. WHAT??? The few laughs that were to be had were hers in this film. The killings are supposed to be based on the previous "Stab" movies, which doesn't make much sense because WE'VE NEVER SEEN THEM! Duh! Some of them vageuly resemble the first Scream movie, but c'mon!! You can do better than that. The brilliance of the first trilogy was how it played off past horror movies. Since those, we've had Saw, Hostel, The Strangers, etc, but to base it off a fictional set of movies ("Stab 7" plays a part in the opening of the film) takes away the familiarty we had with the first set of films. Now, it was good to see the three original stars back on screen, but they were so under utilized and neglected, writing-wise, that they might as well not have even been there. Gail's story line, frustrated about giving up writing and journalism to be a small town wife, is only explored very superficially. Dewey has a female deputy with a crush on him. That turns out to be a yawn. Sidney has released an inspirational book about her life. Not much there. Oh, and the killers in the end? SNOOZE! The ending-ending is pretty good though, so there's that. All in all, I give it a 5 out of 10, mostly for nostalgia. IF there is a Scream 5, I would say we go back to the original three characters and give them some good shit to do, people! Emma Roberts should never be allowed to make another movie.