FOR ALL THOSE NOT IN TO V-DAY: ANTI-LOVE SONGS

I know, I know. Some people are not into the whole Valentine's Day business. I get it. You just broke up or you hate the commercialization. Well, I feel your pain, girl. Here are some songs to offset the mushy love crap you are bombarded with all day today. Check it out below and let the anger boil up inside you. Go out and berate happy couples on the street or call your ex 100 times and hang up on him/her. Or commit the ultimate act against love and listen to Mariah Carey while watching a  Gwenyth Paltrow movie. I know that seems extreme, but you're trying to prove a point.  I love you anyway.

GWYNETH PALTROW LAUNCHES EVIL PLAN TO DESTORY MUSIC

Gwyneth Paltrow hates your ears!!! As if it's not bad enough that she is ruining Glee for me again, "singing" on every show on television, and just being her day-to-day entitled self, now Gwyneth is in talks with Atlantic Records for a full length album. NOOOOO!!!!!!!! I can't believe people would buy this album. I mean, really? She can't even sell a movie anymore and that's supposedly what she's good at. Her singing is sub-par at best (as she has proven by destroying the songs of Cee-Lo, Prince and Joan Jett, among others,)and now some poor, unsuspecting song writers are going to have to auto-tune their dreams away on her new album My Kids Don't Eat McDonald's (that's what I'm assuming she'll call her suck-fest). Gwyneth needs to lay off my ear balls and go back to being British for a living. Gwyneth, shhhhhhh!!!

GWYNETH PALTROW CAN'T HELP BUT SOUND LIKE A BEYOTCH

I don't think it's a big secret that I think Gwyneth Paltrow is just the worst type of human being. She is always sounding holier-than-thou and pretentious and gross. Well, today is no exception to that rule. Apparently Gwyneth thinks she is too perfect! She's such a perfectionist and has to have everything just so that she thinks she's going crazy. She tells Vogue, "Sometimes I think I'm going to have to check myself into a mental asylum, it gets so bad. It's my worst quality and I hate myself for it. It's like, what's wrong with you? Relax! Sometimes I feel like the psycho in Sleeping With the Enemy. Remember that film, when she's got to line up all the apricot chutneys just so? I think I'm scared of something, like there's something I need to figure out. I think I need to … go back to the shrink and figure out what's going on with that." Really, Gwyneth? You win an Oscar and the best movie reference you can come up with is Sleeping With the Enemy? Julia Roberts doesn't even mention that movie and she was in it! AND I think it was rosemary and peach chutney, not apricot! At least I had to look it up and didn't reference off the top of my head in Vogue. Puke. [source]

GWYNETH HAS GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME!! DON'T MESS WITH MADONNA

First Marlene Dietrich NOW Madonna?? Gwyneth is looking for an ass whoopin' from yours truly. The Huffington Post is reporting that Grosseth Paltrow posted on her ridiculous website Goop (that name makes me ill) asking for help on what to do when you "don't like a friend anymore". Wow. How sixth grade. Anyway, apparently this post, according to sources close to the uninteresting "actress" say the "friend" in question in none other than Madonna. WHAT?? How dare she!! Gwyneth went on to say that spending time with a certain friend can leave her "drained, empty and belittled". I guess they spent time watching a Gwyneth film festival. I mean, really. The fact that Madonna lowered herself to be friends with that thing should make her feel lucky. Apparently part of the problem too is the trainer the pair used to share, Tracy Anderson, whose business finances were called into question. Madonna distances herself from Tracy right away, but Gwyneth tried to open some crazy expensive gym with her in NYC that no one wanted to join. Paltrow often uses her website to spew verbal diarrhea at people. She called Winona Ryder a "frenemy" last year. Oh, did you hear that on Sex and the City...... in 2002? Gawd, I hate Gwyneth Paltrow. Could you tell? [source]

GWYNETH PALTROW TO PLAY MARLENE DIETRICH

Gross. I despise Gwyneth Paltrow and now she is going to try to ruin a classy, Hollywood legend. Paltrow is tapped to portray screen legend Marlene Dietrich is a movie adapted form Dietrich's daughter's memoir. Marlene was a sexy, sassy, strong German lady and Gwenyth is a dildo, so it really doesn't make sense to me, but Dietrich's grandson, Peter Riva, thinks Paltrow is great for the part. "She has the stillness required in an aristocrat and the ability to plumb the depths of character without too much emotion, which was Marlene's trademark." Well, Paltrow is kind of a cold bitch, so I guess she has that going for her. It's the rest I'm not too sure about. [source]

NICOLE KIDMAN TO STAR AS A TRANSEXUAL IN NEW FILM

Here's a movie I bet you thought you'd never see. Variety is reporting that Nicole Kidman will be portraying Einer Wegener, the first post-operative transsexual, in a movie titled The Danish Girl directed by Thomas Alfredson, who brought us Let the Right One In. The film is based on the true story set in 1920s Germany of Einer who was asked by his wife Greta, a portrait painter, to stand in for her when a model does not show up for a session. He slipped into a dress, stocking and other women's apparel which sparked a change in him and eventually lead to his transformation into Lily. The photos became popular and Great had Einer do more, but what starts off as a game turns into something very emotional for Einer and complicates the marriage. Greta will be played by Gwyneth Paltrow (yawn). I am not surprised but very impressed that Kidman would take on the role of playing a trannie. It's great to have a star of her caliber not afraid to take a risk like that. I hope she lays off the botox long enough in advance to make facial expressions, but if she doesn't at least it's only Gwyneth she has to act with in the movie. Nobody looks at Gwyneth anyway, right? Oh, it's just me? GWYNETH PALTROW IS THE DEVIL!!! [source]